On the Cancer Front...

I just realized this morning that I haven't given much information on the blog relating to my cancer lately. I guess that is good yet I do want to keep you informed.

For now I am going to lay it all out. Please know I am not complaining just listing details.

1. Labs drawn today for Thursday oncology appointment.

2. Doctors appointment is a follow up.

3. Start oral chemo (Temodar) Friday for 5 days on 23 off.

4. Rash on both sides of bellybutton due to chemo build up.

5. Some constipation. Early morning pain on lower left pelvic continues. OBgyn checked it out in February. No worries with ovaries. Must be from chemo induced constipation. Lovely.

6. Occasional forgetfulness due to surgery or chemo. Poor Dave has to do follow up.

7. Hair - What do I say? It's not how I would style it...yet this isn't about what I want. Is it? Ok. My hair is slowly thinning out - might be due to chemo or normal life stuff. It is also growing in slowly where the surgery took place in December. I have a good two inches that loves to stick up straight (spike) if not trained in the morning. Scary!

8. Physically & Emotionally- I am getting better since the trauma of post surgical complications (not much usage of left extremities) Ok NO usage of left extremities including the facial muscles. But, by God's grace I am somewhat back to normal. I was downtrodden for a while. Short story comprehension is difficult. I especially notice it with my Bible study. It is slowly getting better. Speech therapy aided in the comprehension. I currently see a counselor. I think everyone should see counselors. It is a broken sin filled world. I also think about not being here for my family in the years to come. The thought is short lived. Please pray that I do not dwell on the "what ifs".

9. Multi-tasking: is difficult but getting better. Cooking has been minimal. Many thanks to the meals still being provided occasionally. Driving skills have improved but, reversing out of a parking spot requires both sides of the brain. Difficult. Not impossible. I really have to focus. I also have noticed when multiple conversations are occuring while I am speaking to someone, I am overwhelmed. Thankfully Covenant Christian School's Field Day is not my respondsiblility this May. Allthough I did oversee the team shirt design and colors. That was fun and DO able. I missed organizing the event but, it was good for my health not to oversee the planning, games, volunteers, etc. Also good to let some things go. Laurie I am sure did a fantastic job. Can't wait for Friday, May 9. She is a blessing.

Thanks for caring...
kate

Sand in Suit & Trunks 08'

Carter's adventures
Cole looking for shells
Stuart looking onward

Yes, we just returned from our family vacation. Time away was good yet, I find myself "hitting the floor with my feet running" since we have returned. Lots to do on the homefront.

The beach was fantastic! Real Florida orange juice is truly liquid gold. We devoured a gallon and a half. The above pics are the fairly decent shots I was able to take one day. I would have taken a group picture if I had known the camera was going to be a problem. My camera unfortunately decided not to work later in the week. Bummer for the sunset pics.

This year my mom was able to join us. She needed a vacation. Not sure if it was a quiet one with all the boys. Ok- You and I know it wasn't quiet in the home. Yet, somehow the beach drowns out most noises with the waves and wind.

Carter had fun trying out the skim board. I have to say I would have busted my rear if I would attempt to skim. Dave tried it - fun to watch him. He couldn't skim as well as Carter and his excuse was the board was not long enough. Probably the case. Cole loved to boogy board. And little Stu just had fun "fishing" with the old reeds. The beach is one big sandbox. He also wanted to come back to "Stoo rts house" to ride his bike once we were into our 3rd day of 7. He just loves to ride his bike in our cul de sac. We recently put training wheels on the hand me down bike. He can't get enough bike time. He even rode today in the slow rain after nap time with me walking briskly beside him.

Not sure if I told you . . .I had some intermittent pain on the right side of my head prior to vacation and started back on some nerve pain meds (Lyrica). I think it was due to stress of grandpa's passing and packing for the family. Thankfully not much pain while away . I was able to enjoy Florida pain free! Just a little tired though (not complaining).

I will try to update some more on our trip as time permits. Be sure to look at this post in the near future for the updates.

Off to make dinner.

Just wanted to let you know where I have been.

kate

happy birthday dave!

Happy Birthday

Dave!

I awoke this morning around the 4:30 hour to the bed shaking. I thought it was one of the boys who were shaking the bed. (They've never have done that before so not sure why I thunked it.) Anyhooo...I immediately palmed Dave and woke him up asking him "What is going on?" Not sure what had happened we went downstairs after the rumbling. I checked on the garage thinking it could have done something weird. Turned on the TV. Nothing. Looked outside the sliding door. Nothing. We assumed it was an earthquake. Dave stated lets go back to bed. Back to bed?! How could I sleep after knowing an earthquake most likely occured?

Later it was told that a 5.2 earthquake did occur in southern Illinois. We felt it. I am sure we weren't the only ones. How about you?

Happy Birthday to my rumblin' kind of guy.
Off to purchase some delightful treats for the evening.
kate

Remembering grandpa

Grandpa's memorial was sweet last Sunday. When his eulogy was given there were things about him that I didn't know. It was good to hear. The visitation was from 2-4 pm. The memorial service started around 4:15 and went till 5 ish. Afterwards an extended family dinner was given. Many thanks to my mom's church for providing the food. Also thank you to Aunt Lindas womens group for the yummy desserts. The buttermilk pie was too good. Cousin Corrie and I had our fill that's for sure.

Carter and Cole were told of grandpas passing Friday evening. Cole immediately cried to my surprise. Carter didn't outwardly express his feelings till later. This was a reverse of what I told you earlier. We are pleased that they are talking to us about the whole situation. Many questions are being asked. To the best of our ability we have answered them openly. It was hard for me after the memorial getting into the car to find the both of them crying profusely. They held it in during the four hour service without crying in front of others yet let it out in the car. I started to cry thinking of their feelings if I were the one who passed away. It was hard. As for Stuart he stayed at home with some friends of ours it was during his nap time and would prove to be too long of a day. It also would be hard to corral a three year old in a small funeral home room. That would of been on Dave's shoulders since I was saying hello to many people. On that front...Many people came that I hadn't seen since childhood. I knew for when they said "Katie" that was when people knew me from early years. I changed to Kate in junior high. It was good.

Busy in the home preparing for Dave's Friday birthday among other things.

Marion Lee

I received a call at 6:15 am from my mom letting me know that my grandpa passed away at 3:30 this morning in the hospital. His congestive heart failure caused his heart to just stop. I am sad. We will no longer hear those long time ago stories. That generation in our family is gone. Grandma passed away unexpectantly of a heart attack 5 years ago in April.

A memorial/visitation will be held Sunday from 2-5 pm in Washington, Missouri. He had already planned long ago to donate his body to SLU.

We decided to tell the older boys after school about great grandpa so they can process the information over the weekend with us. Please pray they process his death well. Cole internalizes things. Carter wears his emotions on his sleeve. I am concerned about both.

I am just sad. Grandpa was like a father to me. He came home early from work to immobilize my arm after I broke it at his home on Purina Farms. I even cut wood with him in the back woods of the farm. I had a competition with him on who could carry the heaviest log to his truck. I have wonderful childhood memories. I am thankful I had so many years (into adulthood) with my grandparents. It is a blessing.

Today has been a day of rememberance. I look forward to digging into pictures for his Sundday memorial later.

Marion Lee Johnson was a grandpa who loved me. He will be missed.

kate

Not Much

Good News. I am here to report that not much is going on. The retreat was enjoyable and fun/exhausting to get away. My side effects from this round of Temodar are minimal. Not much to report.

My grandpa is not doing well. He was admitted in the hospital yesterday. The cogestive heart failure is taking a toll on his body. Thank you for taking the time to pray.
k-

What is love?

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

The above passage has been in my mind. I have been pondering what it means to truly love. I am not perfect. It is difficult to love like Christ but not impossible.

Today is the first of my chemo regimen. I think it is the 3rd series. My weekend retreat starts today as well.

Pondering this as well. http://youtube.com/watch?v=Oad8ov10AjY
I am lost without Jesus.

Gotta run errands & pack!
k-

More Info.

Ok- Why didn't I just say that the MRI results were inconclusive like my mom explained to a friend of hers earlier? That would of been easier. Don't you think?

After todays visit with Dr. Needles and the unsettled word on the scan I contacted Dr Forget for his opinion and he was able to explain the inconclusive report.

Dr. Forget said not to worry as with any brain surgery like mine there is raw surface of brain that is exposed after the tumor area was taken out. Ok - the whole frontal anterior portion of my brain is gone! That is alot of exposure. He explained that the raw surface of brain is lined with a material called surgicel, a hemostatic agent (like an interior band-aid for my brain - my wording not his). The unexplained "cyst" is most likely a blood vessel, scar tissue or the surgicel material. While he was reviewing my scan Dr. Backer, a colleague asked him what he was looking at. Dr. Backer said that he thought it looked great. There's no tumor there. Dr. Forget said, "I couldn't be happier with the MRI. Now you have two neurosurgeon opinions."

All is well. To think I actually forgot I had an appointment earlier today. Yes, I actually forgot my follow up was for today. I even called my sister, Jean to confirm she was coming over to watch Stu. She said she didn't forget. Whew!

I will wait to hear from Dr. Needles as to what he wants to do from here. I will continue with my chemo regimen this Friday of 5 days on, 23 off. I have bloodwork on the 21st day of the cycle. Another MRI most likely will occur in about two months.

Looking forward to a womens retreat this weekend,
k-

Mixed Review

Todays visit to Dr. Needles was somewhat hard to put into words. I am still trying to wrap my thoughts around it all. It wasn't a bad visit just confusing to me.

We discussed to a degree the results of yesterdays MRI. Dr. Needles wants to speak with Dr. Forget about the report. The wording of the scan report is not what Dr. Needles is comfortable with. It could be surgical healing scar tissue . Overall Dave said to me"not to worry about it as we know surgery is not an option".

I might take the time to write out the actual report later. For now, I am waiting on a call from either Forget or Needles as to where to go next. Another test?

If I could... I would write more. My typing is so slow. That is all I can come up with. I will need to write this down manually and look it over prior to coming to the computer to type. Gotta go and pick up the older boys at school. Carter could have a ball game tonight.

My WBC's count is a little low in but, not too concerning at this time.

I will continue with the 260mg of Temodar this Friday. Five days on 23 off.

Pics pics & more pics

Even though we have been sick most of spring break, we were able to have fun times in front of the TV watching NCAA basketball. The boys seem to want the Memphis Tigers to win. While out for fun today they had their faces painted. Carter went for the "Memphis" written across his forehead. Cole was more on the wild side. This surprised me as he is not one for stuff on his face. The tiger face only lasted till Stu awoke from his late nap.

Be sure to check out the Easter pics on the Monday, March 24 "Hello" post.

A Sickly Pair

Well, Dave and I did get this sickly bug early this morning. We were a sight later this afternoon lying in the bed.

My MRI at 11:45 this morning was rescheduled to Monday the 31st at 9:45. Can you imagine being sick in a MRI tube? No thanks. This is the second MRI since the December 12, 2007 surgery. My doctors appointment is on Tuesday.

Carter (Dr. or nurse Carter) did a fine job today in our home taking care of everyone. He even made Stuarts breakfast of wafflesand served me pedialyte. That stuff tastes awful.

Stuart is struggling with diarrhea today. He is more stable, though. Pray that his bowels solidify.

I'd take brain surgery over this stomach bug anyday!
k-

The 4 o'clock Flu

Yesterday (Thursday) morning around 4:45 Cole awoke with the vomiting. This was dejavue to the 4:30 AM Tuesday episode with Carter. Yet, Cole gave us an alarm wakening by bursting into our room to say "I'm throwing up!" He ran back to their bathroom and made it just in time to the toilet. Flipping the blanket off the bed I hurried to help him. While in the bathroom, Dave said "I guess we need to call this the 4 o'clock flu." The only problem with that one is that at the ER they tested Carter for the official flu and it was negative. It must be some awful stomach bug.

Stuart woke up sometime around 6 AM with odd crying and I swept him into my arms held him close as a three year old does not know how to handle vomit. I could care less about my pajama top. It can be washed. Stuart calls his vomiting "I spit up." We ended up training him on the official throw up bowl that the boys carry around the home when sick and away from a bathroom.

It was one crazy morning, Cole stayed up in his room on the third floor while Stu was down on the second floor couch. I was coaxing Cole to come to the couch so I could be with them both and not run up and down the stairs checking on each of them. He was concerned about walking. I think he wanted to bring his beloved bed belongings to the couch so I asked. He did. His special blanket and pillow went to the couch. All was better so I could be with them on one level.

Cole ended up getting over the buggie by noon. Fluids were staying down. Yet obviously rest was needed. Stuart not so blessed. He was concerning me. Dehydration looked near at the noon hour. Fluids were not staying down. When he awoke from his nap I called the pediatrician. We arrived at the office for a peace of mind. Dr. McKinney is off on Thursdays so Dr. Joe took his patients. We ended up "testing" his vomit. Stuart received in the exam room a trial size Pedialyte and was given a tablespoon of fluid every five minutes on the clock. If he could hold it down in thirty minutes we could go home if not...ER would be in the future. His eyes were sucken and he could of benefitted from an IV yet it wasn't absolutely necessary per Dr. Joe. I agreed as Stuart was being more himself in the exam room.

Don't you know? They almost always perk up by the time you arrive to the pediatrician. I didn't mind for I wasn't looking forward to another ER visit.

In the van returning home, Cole expressed his thankfulness of having beds and couches to rest on. I was thankful that the bug came after 4 in the morning so a good nights sleep wasn't hindered as much. Two o'clock would be a different story.

Today was a good day as we had some sweet time together. The older boys have been bummed that their spring break wasn't all that they had desired. We did not go to Nascar Speedpark like we had planned for Tuesday and cancelled a Thursday playdate with friends we hadn't seen in a while. Tuesday was too cold anyway. Oh well, there are other fun days ahead.

Last night didn't lend itself to a post. Go figure!

Almost forgot... I have a MRI tomorrow (Saturday) at 11:45 in the morning. My follow up oncologist appointment is on Monday, April 1 with labs taken prior to that time.

Just being a mom,

kate

What A Day

4 am I awoke with an odd sound down the hallway. The boys bathroom light was on and as I was getting closer the sound was more familiar. It was vomiting. Poor Carter was up. A nice colorful rust color splotch on the carpet was outside the bathroom. (We had red sauce for dinner) Unfortunately he did not make it to the tile in time. What a surprise to him and I. He was feeling fine at bedtime. After some clean up we both tried to get some sleep yet- unsuccessful. Carter threw up less than an hour later. No thanks to the water he had after the 4 am event. It obviously didn't settle well in his tummy. The vomit cycle was about every 30 to 40 minutes. He was up along with I till Stuie awoke around 7:30. Little Stu laid in bed with an exhausted Mommy. We eventually made our way downstairs to the kitchen for breakfast. Cole awoke as well for food. Carter was given ice chips as he wasn't desiring food - understandably. He kept vomiting after any type of liquid. Many thanks to our neighbor, Jennifer for helping with the carpet clean up. I think we need to think about investing in a steam cleaner. I had called her to see if she would stay at our home (I didn't want Carter to leave the house) so I could run to the store to rent a steam cleaner and she so graciously offered her green machine. I think that was the name of it. Also thanks to Ramona for picking up some Pedialyte. It is not fun to go shopping with three kids in tow especiallywith one being a sickly child. Carter was worsening in his sickness hour by hour. By 10:45 the bowels started moving a little too quickly(if you know what I mean). No fever thankfully. At lunchtime a decision was made to take him to the ER for IV fluids as he was crying with no tears.

Topping things off...Dave was in Texas on a business trip. I was in a quandary in trying to find someone ASAP to help with Cole and Stuart. I was being sensitive to the possiblity of Carter having the flu and not wanting to expose another family.

OK back to the ER...
We arrived after a fast lunch for Cole, Stuart and myself. The hospital staff questioned Carter about his pain, ailments, etc. He was complaining about a headache and feeling"woosy". His right arm was hurting as well as his stomach ("6" on the pain scale). He so wanted a drink for he was thirsty, yet afraid to throw up due to hurting.

After many questions I asked if they were thinking appendicitis. They said yes, yet no fever is a good sign among other things. His bloodwork showed elevated WBC's which is normal I assume for a virus. He was given Zofran in the IV for his naseau. I also requested the flu test to be performed. We ended with an x-ray.

We came home by dinner time with an exhausted Carter. He went to bed after a bland meal.

The flu was negative. He just had some bug today. Stomach rating by him a "2" by the time we left. Hopefully no one else will get it.

Kudos to Cole for his help in packing a fun backpack for the hospital. Stuart and him were very well behaved. Even the nurse spoke highly of their behavior. I attribute some of it to Cole along with a TV in the room.

It was my first time at the Missouri Baptist pediatric ER and it was wonderful.

So glad Dave is home.

Needing some rest,

kate

Hello

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ,
set your hearts on things above,
where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.
Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.
When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

Colossians 3:1-4

I hope you had a blessed Easter. I had wanted to write but, time again did not permit me to do so. Dave has been somewhat fatigued the past few weekends. Family along with work are wearing him out. He will be travelling out of state sometime this week.

I will try to post some pics from Easter service at church with the boys. The above passage was from our service. It was so compelling. I would not do it justice by giving you the notes. I will have to download the sermon to hear it again.

Carter received for the first time last week some eye glasses. I really wanted to post that. It is odd seeing him with glasses. He loves them and protects them. He is wanting contacts prior to baseball season officially starting as he is a pitcher and the glasses feel odd with a hat(so he says).

Spring break for Carter and Cole started on Good Friday and runs all this week. We are hoping for good weather so we can do some outside activities around town. They really want to do Nascar Speedpark at the Mills Mall which is a good 45 minute drive. They have go-carts inside and out along with some games inside. It is difficult to take a toddler to this as I will need a sitter for Stu.

My mom is currently taking care of my grandpa whose congestive heart failure is taking its toll on his body.

Not as planned

Last night after Cole's party I was exhausted. I had hoped to post some pics for you yet went to bed early. Dave ended up waking me for my pills, Zofran wait an hour then the last day 5/5 for second round of chemo. This morning has not gone as planned. Noticing the fish tank was filled with gunky food...Stuart arrived. While I was overseeing the problem with an empty food container he stated "I feed fish tank, Mommy." "I see Stu." He was up at 2 am turning on all hallway lights and I wonder if he fed the fish at that time while he was getting a drink in the boys bathroom. I think he was getting a drink. Dave wondered early this morning (prior to finding out about the tank fiasco) if he was sleepwalking. I rule out sleepwalking. We had fast food last night. It was Cole's choice in the dinner he wanted. Cheeseburgers and cheese fries. Salty for us. Ooooooooo but good. We needed our potassium this morning for sure to aid in the sodium intake last night.

This morning was spent cleaning a fish tank and taking a late shower. Not something I wanted to do so early in the morning (shower yes, fish tank no) with an upset stomach. The fish tank smelled awful! I had just drank my morning smoothie. Yuck! Double yuck.

As for the second round chemo (Temodar) effects, it consisted of a crampy stomach early in the morning, fatigue throughout day but not as bad as Saturday the 8th. A rash is here as well but in a different location.

Enough said here are the pics from Cole's special day! I especially love the close up picture with his Lego Bionicle toys. Notice his chocolate lip with Mommy and Daddy. The choco chip cookie cake was wonderful!

Happy 8th, Cole

Happy Birthday

Cole

is

8

We are looking forward to a kid party after school today. I will try to post some pics later on. Keep checking in.

kate

Expelled Documentary

This is a documentary that supposedly will be out in April. It interested me. We were informed of it the other night.

http://expelledthemovie.com/video.php

Like to know your honest thoughts.

Kate

Fatigue sets in

Last night, the second round of chemo cycle was started. Fatigue set in this morning. I fed the boys their Saturday morning breakfast at 7:15. Took my shower. Went back to bed. I stayed there for four hours starting at 9:30ish. As a morning person, I tend to be more productive around the home during these hours of the day. I awoke from my fatigue to a personal "to do" list. I am more and more thankful for the hot meals people have so lovingly served us on various evenings. My energy level has been lacking in the kitchen arena. Keeping pantry and fridge items stocked along with meal planning has been a challenge.

With this fatigue today, I relunctantly stepped down from chaperoning Carter's upcomingThursday field trip. I sent an email to his teacher.

Today has been a quiet Saturday at home. Basketball season unfortunately has ended. Baseball has started yet, cancelled today. Not sure why, might have been due to weather. Whatever the case, God knew what kind of morning I was going to have.

Please pray for Dave. Holding up the fort is a big task when I am down.

Thanks for hanging with us on this one.

k-

Professional Motherhood

The following website offers encouragement to mothers. Press play audio to hear Jill Savage's 30 minute message given through Focus on the Family.

http://www.oneplace.com/Ministries/Focus_on_the_Family/Default.asp

Every Mother's Prayer

author unknown

Dear Lord, it's such a hectic day,

With little time to stop and pray,

For life's been anything but calm,

Since you called on me to be a mom.

Running errands, matching socks,

Building dreams with building blocks.

Cooking, cleaning, and finding shoes,

And other stuff that children lose.

Fitting lids on bottled bugs,

Wiping tears and giving hugs.

A stack of last week's mail to read,

So where's the quiet time I need?

Yet when I steal a minute Lord,

Just at the sink or ironing board,

To ask the blessings of your grace,

I see them in my small one's face,

That you have blessed me all the while,
As I stop to kiss that precious smile.

Round 1 updated results

My current oncologist, Dr. Needles, appointment was today at 11:45. As for the updated results from round 1 of chemo: Bloodwork looks good. A follow up MRI will occur towards the end of March with my next doctors appointment on Monday, March 31. The kicker of it all - I have gained 8lbs. since January 3. Aghhh! I knew my pants were not fitting well lately. I attribute it to slacking on the strict personal diet of no sweets. Yes, sweets have been introduced. My body is showing signs of it. Especially in my complexion a few days following the indulgence.

I will be starting oral chemo, Temodar, this Friday, March 7 for five consecutive days.

We are contemplating some changes regarding medical doctors. Please pray for wisdom.

k-

Short & Sweet

I am hopefully going to make this post short and sweet with minimal words. Just wanting to update you on certain details.

1. Cole was able to see by surprise his long time friend, Drew, Friday after school for a few hours.

2. Outpatient therapy for me should be totally complete with a plethora of HEP's (home exercise program) incorporating the usage of the left side hand/shoulder, feet/leg and involving putty,therabands, and a therasponge, some manual balance, also muscles not knowing I ever had. Please pray for time management.

3. It seems evident after the second surgery my ability to divide my attention/ multi tasking is difficult. I will try to give some specific examples later. Please do not hesitate to remind me in a post comment in a few weeks.

4.This afternoon Carter, Cole and I enjoyed the great spring like temperature outside with a long bike ride. I was thankful due to a longing I had a few weeks ago in taking the boys on a bike ride but knowing I would have been unable with my left sided limitations. It was good to be out enjoying the day after a short nap.

5. Had bloodwork taken this morning. The results to be known on Monday at oncologist, Dr. Needles, appointment. Will start 5 day oral chemo, Temodar on Friday, March 7 if he deems necessary. (depending on the blood counts)

Short and sweet,- hope you are doing well.
k-

Fever

Cole woke me early this morning at 2:00 with a fever. After the thermometer read 102.2 he quickly received tylenol. I was bummed for him in the possibility of not seeing today his "best friend" since Pre-K, Drew. He and his family are in town this week from Louisiana. We were planning an evening dinner for quite some time. I had a time with the Lord after tending to Cole just asking why He allowed for him to have this fever for such a time as this? Cole has had so much discouragement lately and was overly excited to see Drew then downtrodden upon waking to the point of crying. What heartache. Carter was also discouraged early this morning for he was looking forward to having people over. We haven't had many families over since surgery - for that matter we haven't had anyone. I guess we need to work on it. We strive during the summer to invite one family over a week to get to know them. It has been great to do. Life has just been for us. . . hmmmmmm. . . preoccupied. After calling Drew's mom early this morning she mentioned the possibility of hooking up prior to them leaving town by Saturday. We pray that Cole's fever will be short lived. Also that no one in the Snodgrass clan to be ill any time soon.



I have noticed on the cancer front that during the day I experience a headache behind the eyes. Toward evening, I will take tylenol to combat if it is bad enough. I am also tired. I'm not sleeping thoroughly through the night even with the sleeping pill.- Too much on my mind- (or should I say not much IN my mind?)- sorry bad joke.



k-

Graduating

Today was the official last day of physical & occupational therapy. I will possibly have my discharge evaluation for speech therapy this Thursday. My physical therapist, Wendy yelled across the gym"Happy Graduating" as I was walking out. I told her I wasn't gone just yet till I see the speech therapist recommendations. I am just thrilled to be in decent arm and leg muscle shape since surgery. I am somewhat normal. Ha ha ha- You say I will never be normal. I agree.

Insurance pays for X amount of visits per calendar year for each therapy session. We are allowing a buffer of five PT /OT visits to be used for the remainder of the year if needed. I can also go in to workout under their watchful eye for a standard fee.

I had a great conversation this morning with a fellow therapy gym patient, Justin, who has had no usage of his lower extremities since November 07, he also was a patient in the therapy hospital during my stay as well. I never had a chance to have a conversation till now. Just a jealous smile of his wheelchair skills. I told him that today! He was such a fast one down the hall while I was not. Here's Kate just tooDaLing in her wheelchair slowly running into the walls getting her insurance worth. Justin told me today he thought I was a therapist. I just laughed and said thanks for I wasn't. Able to share about my left sided weakness being a zero since surgery. It is good to be in the therapy gym as people are real. Hurting like me.

I see oncologist, Dr. Needles early next week sometime. I had some calendar confusion this Friday. Labs will be closer to the dr.'s appointment. The five days of oral Temodar (chemo) pills will be taken later in the week. I'm not in front of the calendar as I write this so I cannot give you the exact date. The 23 days off went by too quickly.

Thankful for today. It was a good day.

kate with a mild headache, cough & needing some rest

Pondering

Since my last post, I have been pondering how to delicately word what a long time friend is dealing with in Texas. I had her information in hand since I wrote my last blog and couldn't seem to allow myself to complain about my situation with chemo. I personally struggled through my last series of the oral pills. The headache was more than what I wanted to endure. My friend is going to have to endure more in the next few weeks. She had found out that her cancer (orginally in breast) is now in her liver and will be changing her chemo regimen to be more aggressive. In turn, causing her hair to completely come out again, severe fatigue, finger and toe nail beds to lift off from the skin. Losing hair is a huge battle for she states: "When you have hair, you don't feel like you're sick. But when you lose your hair and everyone starts staring, you start to feel like you're sick. It becomes a much harder mental battle when you look in the mirror and all your hair is gone."

I am choosing not to tell you her name for privacy reasons. You can pray - for God knows who she is.

I hate cancer!
k-

Update Ta Da

Ta Da I'm Back! Once again it has been difficult to find time and write a blog post. My mom, Gram decided last weekend it was appropriate for her to return to Franklin county in tending to grandpas needs. She will be coming to help in our home during various weekdays- weather pending.

I did have my first round of chemo this past weekend and overall it was not pleasant. I will list some of the unpleasantness below:

1. A good headache on Friday evening.

2. Cramping throughout the five days

3. Rash near bellybutton

More side effects were experienced.

The chemo(Temodar) will be doing it's work the remainder of this month. I am to have labs on Thursday the 28th and see oncologist, Dr. Needles the day after.

Thanks for checking in...kate

Therapy Evaluation

Boy, time is a hot commodity around here. I had a post written on paper this past Monday, February 4 and haven't had the time to sit down at the computer to update ya'll. Stuart came down with a fever over the weekend then Carter followed. Ok.....

Pretend this was written on Monday, February 4 -

Today was my one month (30 days) therapy evaluation.

OT (occupational therapy) and PT (physical therapy) have shown improvements with therapist goals reached. I also have noticed improvements.

My outpatient therepay regimen will change from 3x daily one hour each to 2x daily still at one hour. Speech will continue 2x daily at one hour. The speech therapy is working on cognitive processing. I was thrilled to have the OT & PT change for two specific reasons.
1. Muscle improvement is noticeably significant
2. Snodgrass calendar to be simplified

As for driving, I have the written report but, need an oral "Ok" from my rehab doctor, Dr. Ahmad. I called this afternoon to get the ball rolling in hopes to catch him. I was told the report was put on his desk last Friday and he might get back to me by next Monday. I emphasized the importance of hearing from him to the gal. Life would be much easier if I drove. Please pray that the doctor will call prior to next Monday (He called yesterday & I was cleared!) .

I will be starting chemo (Temodar) this Friday. The top possible side effects are fatigue, naseau,constipation and adverse impact on white & red blood cell counts. Zofran will be taken in advance to combat the naseau. Temodar is specific to brain cancers and normally does not cause hair loss. My chemo schedule is as such 5 days on 23 off. Repeat till Dr. Needles, oncologist deems necessary. Please pray as it looks as if I will be on chemo during Cole's birthday in March and our anniversary in May. I obviously prefer the side effects to be minimal. Obsolete Lord willing.


Thankful I am alive and driving, (I need to write to you about a God print while I was driving the other day!)
kate

A Snowy Beach

A view from Mom & Dad's bedroom
Posing for the camera

The pictures explain it all with the construction trucks. Cole called it his snowy beach and asked that I title the blog with that. I, however wanted to title it "A Snowlot" for Sandlot. Yes, it was SNOW FriDAY for our family. Dave even ended up being at home due to his work shutting down the office prior to him leaving the home unfortunately not early enough as he along with the older boys shoveled the 5" of snow that fell last night. Carter & Cole were up by 6 am this morning they cannot seem to sleep in. Our alarm went off at 5:45 and Dave noticed that the light was on in Cole's room in which they share at this time. They were listening to "Jonathon Park", an audio adventure series that they are engaged in from vision forum.com "The Jonathon Park project provides children and adults with scientific evidence that is in harmony with the Word of God. This is our Father's world, God created it; we can explore it, so live the adventure!" I have to say it is quite engaging for me as well. Very thought provoking. We noticed late fall that a new series was available so it was given at Christmas to both. Cole thanked me at bedtime last night for the newest series. Each series has somewhere between twelve episodes on four compact discs coming close to five hours. Time well spent in our opinion. After sledding today we would find each boy upstairs listening to the audio series for their warm up breaks. Carter was even privileged to eat his homemade sticky bun upstairs. Many thanks to grandma (Gram to ya'll).

Gram currently left for her weekend break from us. She normally leaves on Friday and returns on Sunday evenings.She needs to be able to get away from three young kids. I along with Dave are very thankful for her. She is a early morning riser as well. Cole seems to think she treats them like kings at breakfast time. I have agreed. She has made corncakes which appeals to their adventure of possibly living during Little House on the Prairie times. It has been fun to smell and watch her sour dough starter. The boys call it a science experiment for it takes days of preparation fizzing involved for those of you who don't know. Not long ago blueberry waffles were prepared on her waffle maker with blueberry topping. This morning grits were on the table after shoveling the driveway. They haven't had their eyes or stomachs introduced to them (grits). I told the boys to enjoy this time they have with her here. For the weekend is "look in the freezer for Trader Joe waffles" while Dave makes our smoothies. I will make eggs for some protein power.

Kings don't you think?

k-

Driver Assessment Part II

This morning at the driving assessment evaluation my cognitive along with physical skills were tested. To be more specific I had two different vision tests. One specific to night driving. They also tested my reaction time with foot pedals. A driver performance test was given by DVD with me answering 40 multiple choice questions. She manually tested both arm & leg strength. After all the above, it was time to go out on the road. Thankfully the snow hadn't slicked the roads.

Although, three recommendations were given, I passed the driving assessment! I should be cleared to drive in the next few days. I think I have to wait on the doctor to sign off.

My mom will continue to help with childcare for Stuart while I complete out patient therapy. Early February, chemo (Temodar) might start. Fatigue is expected. The date & duration have yet to be determined.

Looking forward to a SNOW FriDAY. Not sure if it will be called off. But I sure hope so for the boys sake. Me as well. I was so bummed in the hospital after surgery that a big snow storm came and I couldn't be outside to enjoy it with them. Great picture moments!

Today was a good day. . .
k-

Driving Test

Tomorrow morning (Thursday) at nine I have a 3 hour mandatory driving test at rehab. The test is for patients who will officially drive after being in therapy once the doctor signs off. Lots will be involved. From my understanding I will have the opportunity to be on the road in a "tester" car that has dual brakes. WHEW - A! I so want to take the instructor for a joy ride. Hmmmmm, except I want to pass. No go on the joy ride.

Fun Fact: In my high school years I had a 4x4 Mazda blue truck (no radio just a portable one with a cassette player) that was alot of fun in the snow (remember Gina?)and a river ravine. Shhh!

Memories!

I will try to find time to keep you posted.
kate

Trusting His faithfulness?

"As we consider the plans that we have made in our life and then see the different plans that God has in store for us, it reminds us that He is faithful in all things, even the things that are hard to understand. In this time of change, we are trusting God and looking expectantly toward the future . . . "

The above is a quote that came in a Christmas newsletter from a neighbor mentor that is moving with her husband to Italy in June of 2008. When taking a long walk not long ago I was selfishly saddened upon hearing her news in person prior to receiving her newsletter.

It is my prayer that I can steal (ok not steal, but state) her quote in the years to come. At this moment it is difficult for me to trust God for the years to come.

The following verse is printed on my "Thank you for Taking Care of the Snodgrass Family" information folder it was also in the newsletter. A good reminder for me.

In his heart a man plans his course,

but the Lord determines his steps.

Proverbs 16:9

Therapy for my left side has been muscle sorelike and it is still hard to find the best time to be able to complete my home exercise program (HEP). It seems that as soon as I have each exercise down, two more sessions of 10/20 are added. My hand needs definite muscle improvement. The thumb is not strong. Supposedly shorter muscles have a hard time recouperating/ recovering (aka: the hand) compared to longer muscles(aka: the leg). Thankfully my left leg is coming along. I am sore in my quads. Ohh doing stairs is uncomfortable tonight. Two days of consecutive therapy is to blame! I'm sure. Speech therapy has shown that my conginitive processing needs improvement. After reading a short story and approached with specific questions I become confused . My short term memory has been affected as well. I am using a written memory notebook in my purse per the therapist advice.

Since returning home from the rehab hospital I had my first major headache behind the right eye (migraine like) last night. I am so thankful tonight that it has yet to surface also that it has been the first major pain since discharge.

Not driving just yet. . .My mom(Gram to ya'll) is the chauffeur. Please pray for her stamina along with encouragement. Thank you to many who have picked me up from therapy.

Off to basketball games tomorrow. So glad.

My cup overflows with blessings...

kate

Milestones & Priorities

It is the official 5 week anniversary day since surgery. Yesterday I noticed some significant milestones that will be listed below.

1. took a shower without the shower chair
2. tied Stuart's shoes(actually double knotted them)
3. walked upstairs in the middle of the stairs (normally it has been holding onto the railing).
4. another great item that can only be told in person to a girl. Trust me it was a halleluiah moment.
5. Stopped using step stool to get in and out of bed.

I find family, doctor appointments, Bible study, naps, and home therapy( have at least 10+ HEP's, home exercise program, from therapists that need to be completed) are taking a backseat lately. As I desire to be at the computer to update ya'll. I find there is not enough time in my world. Please know if you do not see a lot of updates that I am trying my best to prioritize my time. I will update as soon as it is possible.

My left hand fine motor is somewhat improving.

Dave and I want to sincerely express how thankful we have been for your prayers. God has been merciful, loving and gracious.

Slept Well

Some good news to report: A sleeping pill was taken Saturday night. I slept till the alarm woke me. Whew! So thankful for a long overdue nights rest. It is my hope to get my body back on track in the next few days without depending on the pills.

Yes, a previous post was removed but, not without saving it along with the comments on our PC.

Zzzzzzzzzz's Needed

That is right! Sleep is needed here in the home for myself. Dr. Forget sent a script for some sleeping pills that we have yet to fill. Looks like it might be soon as I am writing this post at 2:45 in the morning. A little hesitant, though to get the pills as they didn't work well while I was in the hospital. Dave and I might consider the suggested melatonin. I went to bed tonight feeling tired thinking I would fall asleep around 11. I have started to wonder how many times a person can toss an turn in a bed. Frustrating.

Thursday night into Friday morning I had total of 2 1/2hours of nightime sleep. Took a great nap though during the day. Naps have yet to be a problem. I have always napped well. While the older two boys were young I would nap while they did.

I am weary. Please pray for wisdom regarding what avenue of sleep aids should be taken.

kate

Cook for Kate part II

The following post was given out a few weeks prior to surgery and others have asked for the information to be re submitted.



Hi everyone! We are the meal coordinators, a.k.a. Sue Stark and Stacey Preis. We asked Kate to let us write an entry for the blog, to save her some time and so we could say whatever we want! :-> Thanks to all of you who have contacted us offering to make a meal for the Snodgrass family. Our email addresses are posted in the side bar if emailing is your thing; if not, you can call Sue at 636.386.8522 or Stacey at 636.391.1501. We have a few dates left to fill in the month, plus many open dates for you to choose. Also, several people have mentioned that they want to help in a tangible way but they can't cook or don't have the time. We hear that the Snodgrass bunch likes , Crazy Bowls & Wraps, First Watch, JJ Twigs Pizza(Valley Park), Culvers burgers, St. Louis Bread Co, and Dierberg's, Trader Joe's, or Whole Foods if a gift card works better for you.

Took for Granted

In sharing with you today is a following list of things I found to be difficult (fine motor) in the past weeks but, thankfully no longer do or at least not as difficult.

I took the following list for granted
1. pulling bed covers up to my shoulders & letting go. (letting go was the tricky part)
2. helping Stuart(3)get dressed/ undressed- socks & all.If there are buttons & a zipper forget it.
3. holding blowdryer & hairbrush with my left hand steadily.
4. taking the cap off my deodorant. ** this is finally getting easier!

This is a small list for the blog but, not small in my life as I am sure there are more to namethat haven't come to mind....

kate

Trusting Issues

Trust in the LORD with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge him,

and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV version

Having difficulty with trust tonight.

good night, kate

Sleep Needed for this Older Patient

Whew! It has been one great weekend. Carter had his first basketball game yesterday at the wee hour of 8 AM. The family had fun watching his ball handling skills. We look forward to Cole's first game next Saturday.

The past few nights I haven't slept well. Yesterday I took a 3-hour nap waking at 4:30 PM. I was exhausted after going to Carter's ball game. I wouldn't have even missed it being his first game. I knew I would be spent for most of Saturday afternoon. I finally went to bed for the night at 11 PM for I was tired, hoping that would help my sleeping issues. Unfortunately it did not. I ended up falling asleep sometime close to 3 AM and woke at 5 AM this morning. The alarm was set for 6 AM, not 5. Not Fun! Please pray that I would be able to sleep through the night. Starting to wonder if I have anxiety issues. I am planning on calling the doctor tomorrow.

Today was a good day as I was able to get myself dressed & ready for church, without assistance. Blowdrying & curling my hair, getting dressed, and even putting in my earrings.

Yesterday it was amazing to me that I was able to pull up my pants using my left hand and allowing it to release (fingers extending). I used to have to take my right hand and manually release the fingers of the left hand for my thumb for liked to hook and not let go.

It has been a humbling being at home versus being at the hospital. I joked with Dave while at the hospital that it seemed I was the pediatric patient compared to many of the other patients who were older. Now at home I feel like a geriatric patient because I walk steps one at time and also I use a special shower chair (thank you to those of you who have donated to my trust fund). I also drool occasionally due to my left sided weakness affecting my face and causing the left side of my lip to stay down and move slowly while I'm talking or not.

I better get to bed because I've got a busy week ahead with four days of therapy.

kate

New Title

Maybe you noticed that the title at the top of this posting has changed from" A Brain Tumor Story" to "Kate's Story". The other day we received a sweet email from someone we have come to respect (our OT). I along with Dave though her point of view was well taken. Here is what she suggested.......

I do have one comment about your Blog though. It is entitled a "Brain Tumor Story" and that just doesn't settle with me. It is not the tumor's story. Do not give it glory. This is your story. This is the kingdom of God's story. The glory of God is in you. Ministry is happening because of this story. The kingdom of God is advance if only in my own heart because of YOUR story. And so why should some un-natural brain tumor get the credit? I guess I just feel that it's so many other story's than the "brain tumor." That's just my two cents. Take it or leave it. I do understand though and I think it's fine the way it is. That's just my reaction.

Thankful for the email suggestion,
kate

A Busy Day

Today was an exhausting day for Kate, so she asked me to write this blog post.

Kate started her out patient therapy this morning with one hour of OT and one hour of PT. It was determined that she is relying too much on her eyes for coordination and not her inner ear, which is more important for keeping your balance. A person's inner ear is responsible for 65% of their balance/coordination. It is difficult for her to stand both feet together with yes closed and keep her balance, she has a tendency to fall over or desires to hold onto the bar. The PT gave her some home exercises to improve this. Please pray that she would learn to rely more on her inner ear for coordination. The PT also detected that Kate has some fear about using her left side more confidently. Please pray about this as well.

This afternoon she had visits with her neurosurgeon, Dr. Forget, and oncologist, Dr. Needles. Both were very pleased with the progress she has made thus far and believe her left side will make a full recovery. While reviewing yesterday's MRI scan, it was determined that the reason for Kate's left side weakness is due to the surgical resection being so close to the thalamus, part of the brain that, among other things, relays motor signals from the right-to-left and left-to-right sides of the brain. One part of the tumor was right up against the thalamus, hence the reason for operating so close to it. If the surgeon had gone 1 cm (0.4 inches) further into the thalamus, Kate likely would have lost left side function permanently. Praise God for a surgeon's wisdom, steady hands, and modern medical technology.

Both doctors concurred that Kate is ready to start taking Temodar (chemotherapy). Her monthly chemo regimen will be 5 days on Temodar and 23 days off. There will likely be some side effects such as nausea, constipation, and fatigue. But no hair loss. There is also a possibility of the chemo affecting her blood counts, which the doctors will be monitoring closely. The exact start date is still to be determined.

Some of you may be wondering, was the surgery successful. In other words, did they get all of the cancer? Unfortunately, there is no way to know with 100% certainty. Due to the complexity of the brain and the nature of brain cancer cells, no doctor will ever tell you that you are "cured". As we have already seen, these tumors have a tendency to recur over time. Surgeries, radiation, and chemo usually just slow down the process. Only God knows the future and only time will tell if it is gone for good. Until then, we need to live wisely and keep up the fight.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support for us.

Dave

The thief on Christmas night

This was going to be the posting the day after Christmas but obviously the pathology report took precedence.

OK, here it goes...........

After returning to the rehab hospital from my Christmas leave I settled into my bed and Dave left to go home. My evening nurse reported to me that she was going to put up my foot rails and turn on the bed alarm which meant that I needed to use the call button if I wanted to get out of bed. I let her know that I had yet to have an alarm activated while at the rehab hospital. She said that I should of had it on the past few nights and to use my call button if I needed to get out of bed. I was not thrilled & she knew it. I told her that I drink a lot of water which in turn meant a lot of calls for potty breaks. Later the nurse tech came and I asked her to ask the nurse to please come to my room for I had a question. I was totally tired by this time from the Christmas events at home. The nurse came and I asked her "What is your philosophy behind the alarm and rails, did a therapist or doctor order it?" She asked, "What?" I realized my voice was weak but I wanted to understand why the bed alarm was necessary. She concluded to tell me that since I was on anti-seizure meds the possibility of me falling out of bed was high and most patients have their alarms on at night. I didn't have the strength to challenge her to let her know my anti-seizure medicine, Keppra, was only for precautionary reasons.


I called Dave crying letting him know I was in bed jail for that is what it felt like. He calmed me down explaining that I was a liability (thank you, Safety Dave) to them and a previous patient most likely fell out of bed. It made sense, yet I still didn't like it for I had freedom the nights prior. It was Christmas night of all things. She was my joy robber, aka: thief of the night.

For the record, the alarm did go off at 1am on 12/26. I was trying to figure out how to adjust myself so I could lay prone. I ended up sitting where my feet belonged to throw a pillow up towards where my head would be and at that moment the piercing alarm went off. I was in shock! Hospital staff came running into my room and I explained that I wasn't trying to escape, just adjusting myself to be able to lay on my stomach. They said that the alarms are sensitive to weight shifts. Thank you very much - Big Momma here with a weight shift in bed. My new nurse whom I had before told me that he would leave the alarm off and return around 3 am. I was relieved to hear this. Oops! At that moment I realized it was 1:20 am. The clock in my room was difficult to see in the dark. Go figure. I propose it should be placed in a different locale. Glow in the dark qualities would have been nice. Ooooooooooo wouldn't that be cool? I am sure it is not in the hospital budget. Can you tell I am a mom of boys?

The next morning, I told the doctor on call that I didn't appreciate being restrained in my bed as I told him what had conspired the night prior. He agreed that it was unnecessary. "If a patient on anti-seizure meds would be a risk at falling out of bed there would be padding on the side rails."

"Do we see that here?" I responded with a "No." He affirmed my thoughts on the Keppra being precautionary.

It was better for the nurse to be more safe than sorry is where I can now stand on this issue. I didn't think this on the day after Christmas.

Really............ I was not trying to escape.

For a couple of nights following this incident the bed alarm was activated but I wasn't as livid. Thankfully on my last night the doctor made sure no alarms would be activated with a note in my records.

So glad my master bed at home doesn't have an alarm. Maybe that is why I couldn't fall asleep the first night. I have been traumatized. Just kidding!

kate

Moments while in ICU

Happy

New

Year

It is a shame that blogger has boring fonts to choose from.

I thought I would take the time tonight to share with you my thoughts and emotions I had while in ICU not long ago.

After many doctors came in to assess my left side situation, I think it was after the third doctor that I finally understood why they were asking me to stick out my tongue (to see if it was going straight out- which it wasn't and I thought it was.), squeeze their hands using both my hands, press down my feet onto their hands and vice versa- pulling up against pressure. While I tried so hard with my left hand to squeeze I realized it just wouldn't do what I was telling it to do. It was difficult to realize that I have never had to tell my hand to lift ,carry, etc. I remember saying to one doctor " I am telling it to move but it won't. - heart wrenching!

At that moment it felt as if my heart sank deeply into the mattress. I was in utter despair thinking I could be paralyzed. Once out of ICU and Dave went home to sleep I had a time of intense crying. I was not OK.

Thankfully I am OK today. Knowing I am going to be weak for a time. My hand is moving more and more each day. - Typing this myself tonight is proof. Although this is taking a lot of time.

Currently my most difficult task with my hand is extension-basically when fingers are outstretched It is most difficult when I grip to let my hand go to the extension mode.

I have practiced extension often throughout the day. Unfortunately the brain signals to hand have yet to understand.

When Dr. Forget came into my room sat near my feet asked how I was doing. I knew he was asking in regards to my left side. I responded that I had been sad and cried but do not blame him for he did a radical surgery- what we had asked him to do. His response was that he understood my sadness. He has such a good bedside manner. So glad he is my neurosurgeon.

We had a lazy New Years day here at the house which was good for all. After much begging,Dave took the older two boys out last night to a neighborhood party. They did not stay out too too late.

Gram helped me put Stu to bed. Her and I were a sight to behold last night while on the couch. She was snoring while Stuart was in her face trying to "talk" to her. I was reading a book with my eyes shut. Not a good way to comprehend. Huh?

Someone recently gave a book to me and wrote a note along with the following scripture. It was an encouragement Here it is for you.

I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.
Romans 9:17

An update on the nerve medicine:It was concluded that my severe right eye pain was due to nerves. I currently take the prescribed meds 2x daily and have yet to have much pain since surgery. We (the doctors and I will continue to adjust the dosage). This is great news as the pain was an 8 on the pain scale with 10 being the highest/ most painful!

this post took me an hour to type........... aghhhhhhhhh

I have my post surgery MRI tomorrow at 9:30 am.

Thankful for lazy family days,

kate