Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Weary & Fearful

I did have my MRI this morning and it went well till I decided to dwell on my fearful thoughts. It wasn't intentional. In the past weeks thinking about the "what ifs" I tear up. I really am fearful of my cancer coming in on the left side of my brain. I am wanting to be open with you in blogland. So here it is.... Yes, I have fear I am human. But, I hate the thoughts of possibly having another surgery if the cancer returns. The last surgery was too much as I have been thinking about where God has taken me since December. Please pray for my need of encouragement. Fear is not something I usually dwell upon. THANKFULLY

I like to think I will get used to the idea of scans/ bloodwork every few months yet it is becoming more of a chore. I am tired. I have mostly good days to which I am thankful.

A fun song comes to mind tonight (a wild youth song):

Fear not for I am with you
Fear not- fear not
for I am with you. Says the Lord.
la la la la la la la
Fear not for I am with you
Fear not - Fear not

Thursday see Dr. Needles for MRI update

k- I'm thankful for a wonderful weekend we just experienced in Indiana.

6 comments:

Karen Morris said...

You will continue to be in our prayers, Kate. You are loved, not just by us, not just by so many others, but by our loving Heavenly Father. There's a Michael Card song that keeps going through my head when I come to your blog. It's called Barocha based on Numbers 6:24, and it says, "The Lord Bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face shine upon you, and give you peace, and give you peace, and give you peace forever."

Anonymous said...

Kate,

"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them." Is. 42:16

Fear...the feelings are real. God's Truth is what takes my fears away...."For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of son-ship (daughter-ship). And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father' ". Rom. 8:15

God's perfect love casts out fear.

Lifting you up,
Sue :)

Bill said...

Dear Kate,

Thank you for sharing your heart with us. We are praying for you here in Memphis. May God be glorified in granting you amazing peace that surpasses all understanding.

Kim

Especially Heather said...

"Fear is the roadblock to truly living the life that God intended us to live."

I so understand your fear, and so does Christ. Gently lay it at His feet, and know that you are going to pick it up rather frequently over the next 80 years. The important yet hard thing to do when you have cancer is live in the moment, live for in the "today", because none of us is promised a tomorrow.

chin up, and I will pray for you and your fears. Please pray for mine :)

-H

Anonymous said...

Kate...just got your e-mail and torpedo-ed over here to read your latest post... The story I am reminded of is the story of Abraham and Sarah and their servant, Hagar... When Sarah unfairly treats her and boots her out of the campsite with her newborn, she cries out to God in the desert...which is a wasteland you probably feel like you inhabit some days... And God answered her. The "Jehovah" name given to God (at work so can't look it up) is the one that means "God sees." God sees you in your up's...he sees you in your down's...he sees your fears and questionings...he sees your why's. And He doesn't just "see," He answers. We're all praying for you. Thank you for your transparency and honesty. Blogger in your court and hearing your heart: Laura Joback

Anonymous said...

Peace be to you and yours!

Blessings,

Mrs. I