Thursday, November 29, 2007

Options Given

Ohhhh - the wonderful smell of our boys hair after taking a bath. Johnsons really has a great product. Hope to not switch to grown-up shampoo anytime soon. I so enjoyed reading Stuart his favorite three books for bed tonight. His hair was right under my chin. Umm mmm. Kissing Cole tonight I took an extra whiff of his hair. Just love it!

Ok I am here to update you on the day - more specifically the doctors appointment. Sorry I got distracted thinking about the past hour of bedtime routines.

We were given two options this afternoon about how to treat the cancer and feel fairly good about them. All things considered. The appointment really went great. Dr. Forget was running a little late so it allowed some time for us to chat with Dr. Needles take a break then Dr. Forget came in. We had a good friend who is a doctor join us for an extra set of ears and wisdom. Thank you Nancy. Many good questions were asked and resolved for now. It was decided that the wallpaper chemo wafers (gliadel) will not be used if we do surgery. Both doctors agreed that it is not supported well in research. We will most likely not seek out a second opinion on the reading of the spectroscopy. A lot of reasoning behind this one.

Yesterday, an appointment was made next Tuesday at 1 pm to have a second opinion on treatment with my previous oncologist at Siteman, Dr. Linette. We really respect his outlook on things and would like to hear from him as well.

Thank you for praying. We need wisdom in which course of action to take. I truly am at peace about the whole situation tonight. I sure didn't expect to feel this way. I am so thankful for the great discussion with each doctor. God surely is in the midst of all of this. It cannot be denied.

Psalm 100
A psalm. For giving thanks.
Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.
Worship the LORD with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.
Know that the LORD is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.
Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.
For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.
Added at 10:23 pm - Dave & I felt it best for now to not give the treatment options as we are seeking wisdom. Lots to discern. Also we want to discuss things with Dr. Linette. Just know that surgery is one very viable option. Thanks again for praying.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Could it be wrong?

I have had some friends and family members ask if the spectroscopy (MRS) performed last Friday could be at all wrong. I thought of this as well. Maybe you did, too? I put a call into Dr. Forget this morning asking "How accurate is the spectroscopy? Could it have been read wrong?" He said that it is not 100% accurate. He did mention that in his profession it is rarely wrong. Not sure his exact words but that was his point. I told him my concern of putting the wallpaper chemo tablets/wafers (gliadel) on the brain tissue when it might only be scar tissue. He said that while in surgery he wil take a sample of my brain to be biopsied ASAP to check for any signs of cancer. The pathology results will be called to the O.R. stat while they are working on my brain. They will then know whether or not to put the chemo directly on the tumor bed.

Dave did some research (to no surprise) on the accuracy of spectroscopies. The stuff he read "was remarkable at differentiating between scarring and cancer cells." He also did research pertaining to the gliadel wafers. At one time the chemical used in gliadel, BCNU or carmustine, was given by IV with some yucky side effects. Being put directly on the brain (from what he read) has minimal side effects.

It was good to leave the house today and ignore the phone. No offense to well wishers. I needed a little normalcy in my day. So it was off to good ole Trader Joes. It does the body good going there. I have always wanted to tell Schnucks grocery stores that they aren't "The friendliest stores in town". Trader Joes is! They know me by name. It's like the TV show Cheers except it isn't a bar it's a grocery store. Just ask anyone who knows me. I love to shop at grocery stores. Hate the mall but love the grocery stores. Seeing food fills me up. No pun intended.

On to the boys. Carter came home today by noon. He complained of a sore neck. It was his back that was hurting for a few days. Probably due to playing football Saturday morning at church. I obviously didn't mind going to school to see how he was. He is not one to go to the office to complain. I thought he could use some Mommy TLC since he told me prior to leaving for school that he was scared I might die with cancer. I assured him that his feeling was a real and it is ok to be scared for I love him.

Dave and I are choosing to wait to tell the boys the whole picture till after Thursdays appointment. We will have more information and be better equipped. Friday after school will most likely be the time we tell them what we know. We want them to have the weekend to digest it all with Mom, Dad and the comforts of home. We want to be able to love on them and affirm their fears. Please pray for each of their hearts. Carter wears his emotions on his sleeve. Again tonight he stated that he is afraid I me dying prior to seeing Cole, Stuart and him getting married and having kids. More was said. It is tender in my heart. I cannot express all that was said for it hurts. He is really contemplating things. Cole on the other hand takes it all in. When he asks a question you know he has been mulling it over for some time. Just recently he just started to pray again for no growth to return in Mom's brain. Pray for each of their hearts reception. Ask God to guard their hearts. Pray that Dave and I can love each one individually this weekend to fill their love tank up.

Finally pray if it is God's will for the spectroscopy reading to be wrong. It is possible. Not much but it is. Also Dave & I need wisdom as to what direction we are to take. Dr. Forget mentioned this past Monday when asked for his professional opinion what I should do "Since you are so young I would be as aggressive as possible." We will have a lot of questions for this Thursdays appointment. The word aggressive scares me.

Telling boys some information

I did forget to mention yesterday that if we are to do the surgery once more. It will most likely be sooner than later due to this type of cancer producing "fingers" that can branch out to other parts of the brain. A person cannot have brain surgery on two different sides of the brain. Please pray over this coming Thursday at 4 pm for wisdom - Dave & I along with the doctors. Should we have another person read the spectroscopy? We just don't know.

I woke up at 4:30 this morning and once my mind started thinking couldn't go back to bed. Gotta get to my Bible study in few. I had this written last night yet didn't post it. Please read it as if it were written last night (Monday).

We did tell the boys tonight that the doctors want to talk to us about the test results. There is a possibility that "Mom might have to have more treatment and maybe an operation again." Carter asked if the cancer was back. We felt right now not to say that the cancer has returned. He is taking it harder than Cole which is what I expected. He mentioned that "I wish you didn't have cancer. I want you back to the way you were." I hugged him and said it is fine to cry. Dave & I said that more will be discussed on Thursday at 4 pm with both doctors. We shared the following verse over ice cream.

Fear not, for I am with you.
Do not be dismayed, I am your God.
I will strengthen you; I will help you;
I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.
Psalm 84:11
Cole broke out in song from the Karyn Henley DVD series . . . .

"I am your God,
I am your God,
I am your God who holds your right hand and I say to you
do not be afraid
for I will help you

In God I trust
I will not be afraid
In God I trust
I will not be afraid

For He will take care of me."

Praising God for ice cream delights during heavy times. Praising Him for putting a song in Cole's heart.
Carter later came up to me when alone and said "I sure hope you don't have surgery. It isn't the same without you around."

My heart is heavy thinking about it all but I do know that God is by my side. I am so glad I am loved by Him.

I did tell Dave over the phone earlier today with the news that although I am devastated that I am not dead. He came home with lunch for both of us. I love him so. I also shared with my aunt over the phone that I didn't think "Why me?" this time. God is obviously not finished with me or someone else who is watching. Pray that I don't become easily discouraged. This is a long journey that I really didn't want to take at this time.

We are taking it one day at a time. That is all God really wants us to do.

Worry is like taking tomorrows clouds
and putting them on todays sunshine.

I did find some sunshine today. One being that I have felt good for a whole year! God's word strengthening me not only today but this past year. Cole hugging me early this morning before leaving for school. Stuart loving me while I was crying today. Carter's tenderness to the whole ordeal this evening. Dave leaving work to be with me.

When putting the boys to bed tonight I read two books with them. One was about a crippled lamb and how he was created for a special job. That job ended up being to keep king Jesus warm as a baby. I told each boy that God doesn't make mistakes and that He chose them to be in our family for a reason. God knew they would have a mom who would have brain cancer and that God would use it in their lives. Carter really pondered this and asked how God would use it. I said I didn't know but I do know He will. Cole just prayed tenderly tonight for no cancer growth. When finished I told him if there is cancer that God will see us through like He did last time. Cole's only reservation was that he didn't like grandma watching them due to arriving late to school and not having that first drop off recess. I laughed and said that could be worked out. Oh, the innocence of children. I love them.

Monday, November 26, 2007


Dr. Forget called and said that "the findings are consistent with a tumor". Something was said about the inferior/ posterior portion of the right side of my brain but I am so reeling from the news that I cannot even focus. I was totally at peace since the spectroscopy on Friday due to Dr. Forget saying he was 99% positive there is no change the last time I spoke with him.

This is what we are looking at.
1. Another gross resection of the right frontal lobe. Remove more brain tissue including good tissue. Have gliadel (a chemo agent) put on the brain like alkaseltzer tablets to release chemo after the surgery. They stick on like "wallpaper" per Dr. Forget. After the surgery I am to take Temodar till Dr. Needles deems necessary to stop. The surgery has a risk of a 20 - 25% personality change.

We are planning on taking time to see both Dr. Forget and Needles sometime soon. Dr. Forget was willing to come to Dr. Needles office to meet together therefore saving us a fifty dollar copay. That is the positive part about this all. Yes, fifty dollars. It is important to me. The surgery will most likely be by the end of the year.

Please pray for wisdom regarding all of this. Dave has yet to process it all. I unfortunately process very quickly.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Over and Done With

The spectroscopy (MRS) is over and done with for today. My only complaints were that I couldn't listen to my music, it was an hour long and cold. My nose and body are just warming up from the test. I am although, thankful to have this test out of the way. Having the MRS performed at the hospital brought back memories of brain surgery and the multiple tests I have taken prior to and after. I think I counted that I have had 9 regular MRI's, 1 stealth MRI, 2 CT's and now 1 spectroscopy. I am wondering with the ongoing tests I have had and will continue to have if any research has been done concerning a patients hearing loss. That is one question I am going to ask Dr. Forget on Monday. I am sure someone has had this conern before. With all the jack hammer sounds, knocking and just loud sounds it makes me wonder. I am glad they take precautions with ear plugs especially today. It was a different type of test yet similar to a MRI. Some of the sounds I hadn't heard before. And boy did the table shake during some of the racketing sounds!

Thanks for praying. I need to go and warm my feet up with a foot soak. I'll keep you posted.

Looking forward to a relaxing long weekend with the Snodgrass men.

Monday, November 19, 2007

MRS scheduled part II

This weekend Dave and I discussed all that went on last week in regards to the MRI results. We decided that if I were to have this magnetic resonance spectroscopy (MRS) for it to be scheduled prior to January 1 due to already capping our insurance. So with that said I phoned Dr. Needles nurse, Karen around 8:05 this morning asking her if the test is to performed could we have it sooner than later. Dr. Forget's office called around 8:15 after I had already left a message with Dr. Needles nurse. Dr. Forget's staff are so on the ball with things. They told me that Dr. Forget would like for me to have the spectroscopy. Sue, one of Dr. Forget's adminstrative assistants asked if I wanted Dr. Forget or Dr. Needles to order the spectroscopy. I said Dr. Forget for it is sometimes difficult to get through to Dr. Needles due to it being a busier office. She called the scheduling department for the MRS within the hospital. As stated in the previous post I will have it this Friday at 10 am. I could have had it done tomorrow at 10 am but since it is Stuart's official birthday I opted for Friday as Dave is off. They do not do the magnetic resonance spectroscopy's at the off site location where I currently do the MRI's.

Not too long after Dr. Needles himself called to state what I had already known about having the test performed. He metioned that he wants to see more than the T2 intensity that is shown on my normal MRI scans. It will give him a better look at what is going on to determine if "chemo" would be appropriate. I did ask him who should tell me the results since both doctors are involved. "I don't want to step on anyones toes". He said he wouldn't be offended just as long as I get my results. We left it that I would here it from Dr. Forget since I can get through to his office easier. He agreed.

I am not too anxious. I think when Dr. Forget said last Friday that he is 99% sure that there is no change that is good enough for me. Mind you I am pleased to take this test to confirm his professional opinion. I will know the results next Monday. Dr. Forget will discuss the final results with me via phone.

Many great things here!

1. Dr. Forget's staff phoning early & scheduling the spectroscopy.
2. Dr. Needles personally calling to let me know his plan of action.
3. Not having to go in to see a doctor with the results. Saves a $50 specialist copay. (for now!)
4. Stuart has a good yucky cold. I cancelled yesterday his three year pics that were to be scheduled at 10am this morning. It allowed me to be at home answering the multiple phone calls.
5. I have peace.

Pray for the test to show no signs of cancer re growth just good ole scar tissue. For each doctors wisdom as well.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts,
since as members of one body
you were called to peace.
And be thankful.
Colossians 3:15
Peace I leave with you;
my peace I give you.
I do not give to you as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled
and do not be afraid.
John 14:27

Have a great Thanksgiving. There is so much to be thankful for.

MRS Scheduled

I will have a spectroscopy (MRS) this Friday at 10 am. More details to follow as I am going to take my nap. In short lots of phone calls from each doctor this morning. I'll fill you in later.


Friday, November 16, 2007

Dr. Forget's take

A message from Dr. Forget at 12:51 pm . . .

"Hey Kate, it's Dr. Forget returning your call. The film looks identical to me. I think there is a slightly different angle of the cuts in that way it was read a little differently. I looked at your pictures side to side there doesn't seem to be any change to my eye between September films and the film you had on Tuesday. If you need me talk to me give me a call back."

I needed him so I called around 1:15 this afternoon. He was in the OR and returned my call within 10 minutes. He restated what his message said and also said that he is 99% positive there is no change in the scans. There is some white haze but nothing to be concerned about. He made sure I understood that MRI pictures are taken in slices. To which I knew. I told him that Dr. Needles mentioned a possiblity of a MRS (definition stated below). He said he didn't think it would be a bad idea to put all minds at ease. Dr. Needles is not in today as Dr. Forget left a message with his nurse. We will wait and see what is in store in the next few days.

A variant called magnetic resonance spectroscopy (MRS) is capable of providing information on the activity of the brain using magnetic resonance imaging. MRS is proving to be accurate for distinguishing dead (necrotic) tissue caused by previous radiation treatments from recurring tumor cells in the brain, a difficult diagnostic issue. (Thank you Nancy for this defintion by email.)

So thankful for this news! It is a glimmer of hope yet still need to wait for a final conclusion as Dr. Forget only compared it to the September scan.

On a side note I did tell Dr. Forget that "You are a breath of fresh air today". I am sure he was reminded of how quacky his patient was a year ago. I am more and more thankful for how God placed the right doctors in my path in the past year.


Thursday, November 15, 2007

Bad? Good? Just Indifferent

Update on Carter's eye. He is healing fine. The patch came off yesterday. There should be no further complications. I am thankful!

As I sit to write this post I was reminded while driving home from Dr. Needles that ". . . those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31 My appointment was at 9:30, yet we didn't get to see him till 10:30. I didn't mind for it was great conversation time with Dave. We hardly have time at home to connect. He shared with me work related stuff. It was good to chat and converse.

Now to the results of the Tuesday MRI. As you know Dr. Needles had this scan compared to April, June and September scans.

"Brain sequences again demonstrate postoperative changes of the superior anterior right frontal lobe, with surrounding T2 hyperintense signal around the cavity margin. This appears minimally increased at the posterior superior cavity margin, measuring 12mm (compared with 11mm 9/11/2007 and 7.6 mm 4/11/2007). There are no areas of abnormal enhancement. No other interval change is seen. The brain parenchyma, ventricles, cisterns, major arterial flow-voids, mastoid air cells, and paranasal sinuses are otherwise normal" - Whatever those are but thankful they are normal!

So in short, there has been a 4.4 mm increased change since April. Dr. Needles is wanting Dr. Forget, my neurosurgeon, to look into this for further consultation. The options are that it is just surgery / radiation scar tissue or the dreaded cancer regrowth appearing. Dr. Needles wants to be sure and find out quickly. When asked how he was certain in September that the "minimally increased white matter" was scar tissue he responded that we were only able to compare to June not the April scan. I am thankful that the April scan was available for comparison this time.

What to do from here? Wait! I walked over to Dr. Forget's office to hand a copy of my final MRI report from Tuesday highlighting the millimeter change to get the ball rollin' on this. Also putting a note about wanting further information from him as to what he thinks. Dr. Forget will be in contact with Dr. Needles and then myself. Dr. Needles will be looking to see if another test besides an MRI could be performed to narrow down the possibilities. He is going to contact a radiation oncologist (the one that reads the reports - I think that is their title). I asked about a PET scan. He said unfortunately they have not proven to be a good deciding factor with the brain. Dr. Needles also mentioned that Dr. Forget might consider doing a biopsy. I said "You mean opening me up again? I hope not." He said he hopes not as well as it wouldn't be his first choice. Dr. Needles did want me to have a MRI in January. I will schedule it some time on the 15th.

Pray fervently that is resolved sooner than later, wisdom for the doctors and the right action to be taken. Also for this change to indeed be only scar tissue from surgery and radiation as it "could be" per Dr. Needles. Pray that I continue to walk like I have walked before - in God's hands alone. Pray that fear will not creep in.

Thankful for many things today. No edema (swelling) in the brain per Dr. Needles. I have had a great year.

He's been faithful . . . He will be faithful now!

We will not be telling the boys of this change as no real conclusions can be made from today. I will let you know when we do. I am not sad, just indifferent.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

From Uneventful to Eventful

The MRI today went well. I think I actually fell asleep. We will see later tonight if that was the case. If I have more energy than normal at 10pm then it is true. I have always told people that there is no way a person could fall asleep with all the noise, clacks, loud bangs, etc. I was wrong. I must of been so relaxed enjoying my new CD mix of praise songs (thank you Big G). When Brenda the technician rolled me into the tube it seemed like only 8 minutes max that I was rolled back out to do my bloodwork and give the contrast for three more tests (10 more minutes). Many thanks to all who prayed for peace in the scan. That definitely was the case. I also had an opportunity to chat with a gal in the waiting area prior to my scan. Her husband was having a CAT scan to his throat for a questionable infection that was lingering. The test was ordered ASAP by his doctor.

The day concluded with an unplanned visit to our pediatrician, Dr. McKinney. Carter was having a great time playing tennis with Mr. Grant in their driveway after school. As Carter was returning a serve to Mr. Grant his racket unfortunately was turned a little and the tennis ball hit him directly in the eye without a chance to blink. He hit the pavement screaming. The pain did not let up after 10 minutes. I called Dr. McKinney's office at 4:15 and spoke with Camille his nurse. I was concerned about a corneal abrasion. He has had one before with a sharp stick in the eye. (A unique camping story.) After a few questions she said the only way to find out if it is scratched is to have the black light test. Dr. McKinney was willing to wait for us to arrive before going home. The office closes at 4:30 if not sooner. Carter did indeed have an abrasion on his left eye. It is on both sides of his pupil in the white area. He was given an antibiotic ointment on the eye with a patch. We are to see Dr. McKinney tomorrow in the afternoon for a follow up. Pray as Carter is to not open his injured eye till he sees the doctor. That is difficult. There are many praises though.

1. Dr. McKinney willing to wait for us instead of going to the ER. $30 copay vs. $150
2. The injury was prior to 4:30.
3. A sweet gal from Bible study was already preparing dinner for us. She left a delightful pasta dish on our front porch. I will need to get that recipe! God knew what kind of evening our family was going to have. So glad she mentioned that she wanted to bring us a meal.
4. Carter had a praise that his math homework tonight was not timed.
5. Bedtime is soon. All eyes to get some rest.
6. Tomorrow is only half day at school which will give more rest to his hard working right eye.

Please also pray for Carter as he was apologizing for injuring his eye due to the fact that we have many medical bills. He asked if the doctors visit was worth $30. We affirmed him that he is worth every penny and that God has been faithful to meet our every need. Goodness I didn't even know he had been concerned about the family finances. We don't talk about it around the boys.

From uneventful to eventful day. Thankful that this day was ordained by God.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Super Stuart Party

This morning Stuart had a Lightning McQueen playdate birthday party with a few friends. He was excited to have them over. Being the third child he never goes to a playdate (not an exaggeration). Carter and Cole did playdates quite often. Good ole Stuart gets to run errands, go to the multiple ball games and school functions. He doesn't know any different. He loves to go grocery shopping. Really he does. He often asks me if we are going to go "gosherry" shopping. Dierbergs has a cool kid cart that is a rocket ship. We hunt for it in the parking lot so he can sit in it. Trader Joe's has a kid cart that they use to shop with. That is an adventure in and of itself. We look for the monkey so we can go to the treasure chest for a peanut butter filled pretzel or another good surprise.

Stuart's official birthday is next Tuesday the 20th. Did you enjoy the Super Stuart picture? Many thanks to Caleb's mom for making the cape. Stuart will be having many "super"moments in it. He is known to climb on top of the toy chest and jump off to make it look like he is flying. The cape is reversible to make him to be batman as well. So cute! I along with the other moms told Kristie that she could easily make the capes for people. They would sell like hotcakes. With a personalization of the first initial of the boys name. Dynamo!

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Psalm 40: 1- 3

As I go through my multitude of cards that I have received in the past year these verses struck me and I wanted to share it with you. Oh so powerful!

I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.
Psalm 40: 1-3

Thank you to all who have sent cards. I am glad to have them to ponder over the past few days. I have a new song.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

One year from surgery

It has been one year to date when brain surgery was performed. Thoughts have flooded my mind in the past few days of all that has gone on in the past year. From memories prior to surgery, surgery and ICU and beyond. Many people showed what it meant to be the hands and feet of Jesus. We had meals prepared for us every other day for at least five months, some housecleaning, financial along with moral support was of great help not to mention prayer. Most every card that was sent to our home I have kept. It was sweet to go through some of the cards this past week. Many dear stories and encouragement were given along with scripture. I kept most every card and so glad I did. I cherish the ones that kids made. I was and continue to be amazed at how many people rallied around our family - from friends old and new to family, fellow believers, neighbors and even strangers! God has so richly blessed us.

As for my testimony with both studies it went well. Yesterday I cried more than I had anticipated but it went somewhat smoothly. Today it was significantly better. I guess a bigger audience might of made the difference. While driving home yesterday I was in deep contemplation on how it went. It was the strangest thought process. I knew that the testimony had nothing to do with me but it really hit me on the way home that it was all about God working in me. Thank you for praying. I was obedient and I guess that is all that matters. He has been so merciful to stretch out his hand towards me prior to and during brain cancer.
I, the LORD, have called you in righteousness;
I will take hold of your hand . . .
Isaiah 42:6a
Please continue to pray for no change in regards to my upcoming MRI on Tuesday. I will know the results on Thursday the 15th.
Thank you again and again for being the hands and feet of Jesus. It does not go unnoticed (even by God).
Off to making chicken cacciatore for the men in my life.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Comforts of Home

As I have successfully made pumpkin bread along with colonial pumpkin pie this evening it brought great joy. Carter and Cole separately asked me early last week when I was going to make the above items. It was a neat reminder to me that they each know what baking I do in the fall. Oh the comforts of home. Each boy helped in adding the ingredients of the pie. Carter helped make the whipping cream. He knew that we add real vanilla and some sugar. No fake stuff at our home. They will some day make great husbands who actually know their way around the kitchen.

It has taken some time to get the older boys on a good Saturday morning chore routine. They now take some initiative to have their chores completed. This week we decided to reward them with some allowance. After going to a local store they each know what items cost and are working toward saving for what they want. Carter was thrilled! He asked "What other chores can I do to earn more?" I told him to check the column that said "Marble earnings". He did and earned some more money instead of marbles. If you remember the "Caught ya being kind or Gotcha jar" is when we catch the boys doing a kind gesture toward others in and out of the home. After the jar is filled with marbles they decide what fun thing for us to do as a family. As for Cole owed us a little money and did an extra chore to wipe his slate clean. He then was rewarded with his full allowance. Dave and I will be working to instill in their hearts a desire to set aside a portion for saving, giving to God and fun money. Larry Burkett has written something on this subject.

On a side note: Stuart pretends to vacuum with his play vacuum with his motor mouth sounds while they vacuum on their assigned week. He makes sure he has my attention and says "Look Mommy I am vacuuming". It is so cute!

I did get my haircut this past Thursday. I was feeling ugly. Literally I felt as if the "ug" in ugly pertained to me alone. I knew it was time to do something with my hair and it had to be that day - Thursday! I called two hair dressers that had cut my hair in the past nine months whom I thought did a good job and took the one who could do it. I have to say it looks much better than the mullet I thought I had. Yes, laugh all you want I thought I looked as though I had a mullet with the radiated hair regrowth. Not the kind of look I have been going for. Dave was very affirming in his words when I returned home. He and I both love longer hair but he said that this is just temporary and it looked great - more proportional. (ie: no mullet even though he didn't say it). Dave even complimented me later in the evening as I was giving Stuart his bath by popping his head in the door to say it looks good. So thankful for his affirmations. I have found in doing my Bible studies that I need to find contentment in my circumstances. Especially in my hair I am needing to find contentment. I continually remind myself that I have hair. That is great in and of itself. No denying it.

This Tuesday and Wednesday is when I will share my testimony in each Bible study. Thank you for praying. As I look back at the year I am amazed at how far God has taken me and my family. Not just my health but every aspect of our lives. I hope others see this much needed change as well. It is hard to imagine that this Wednesday the 7th will be one year to date from brain surgery.

Next Tuesday the 13th at 1 pm is my MRI. Please pray for a clear scan and that all scans from April through September are compared with this scan. Pray for the "questionably minimally increased white matter" (scar tissue) to have no change. Dave and I will have our consult with Dr. Needles on Thursday the 15th in the morning.

Walking with God every step of the way. . . kate