A beautiful mosaic

Tonight was a spur of the moment Mexican dinner with our good friends the Wichts. Ramona and Wade were one of the many faithful couples that stood by our side at the beginning of this cancer trial. Wade even went so far as to spend the night at the hospital with Dave the first night while I was in ICU. Ask him the funny story of how nurse Amy tried waking Dave at 3 in the morning. We have really appreciated their friendship. They are truly a great couple who love Jesus and people! Love them so. At dinner Ramona gave me a boxed gift. Inside was a wonderful surprise of the newest Aaron Shust CD - Whispered and Shouted. Wade's brother in law knows Aaron down in Atlanta through church ministry. Ramona contacted Aaron via email to tell him my story and how I love his music. Ramona asked him if he was planning a concert in St. Louis anytime soon so she could have me backstage. A concert isn't in the plans. Bummer! The CD from his personal collection was the next best thing that Aaron decided would make a thoughtful gift. He signed the inside cover. "To Kate - Remember, God is watching over you! with his signature and Proverbs 19 :21.

Many are the plans in a man's heart,

but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.

Many thanks to Ramona and Wade. Your hearts are so full of compassion and it shows. You truly know how to foster relationships. What a great example for Dave and I to follow. You both know how to be a friend. Thanks for loving us and our boys.

Below is the explanation Aaron Shust gives to how he came to write the first song on the CD. I will put it in color for you to know it is him writing.

Long Live the King:

Rick Pearson was 23 when he was diagnosed with Leukemia. For all express purposes, he had everything going for him. He had an amazing voice. He led worship at his church and at camps and conferences all over the place. He was about to get engaged, and from conversations I've had with other people, everybody loved him. But for reasons that God only knows, Rick's time on earth was done. His is an amazing story of selflessness, perspective beyond this little span of time we call "life", and positive attention being directed toward the King overseeing it all.

As I was driving to Rick's second Memorial Concert last fall, (a time designed to remember Rick, praise God and support ministries that Rick supported) I felt like I should turn off the radio and drive in silence. It was September, a nice day in Atlanta, and the top was down in my Jeep, so I was just trying to enjoy the drive, but my thoughts were stuck on Rick and how incredibly God operates in times of apparent tragedy. The chorus to this song just came pouring out in my middle of my drive. "Long live The One who gives us LIFE, and PEACE and HOPE for Tomorrow!" Life does not end here! God reigns over all time and eternity and has invited us to join Him! "I'll give my everything to The One who PLEDGED to CANCEL my sorrow!"

Sometimes I'm amazed that my heart hasn't stopped beating since the day I was born; and only God holds the number of our days, so we find ourselves pressing on; ekeing by sometimes. We live with tragedy, disappointments, failure, divorce, death, and so much more that we'd rather not have in our lives. But we also live with grace. The grace of God flows non-stop when we don't have any left to offer. He restores our lives. He gives us a love to show the unlovable, when we couldn't muster up such an action from within ourselves. He makes a beautiful mosaic out of our lives that could only be created by taking all the broken, shattered fragments and piecing them together again. (emphasis mine)

Rick's sorrows have already been cancelled. He has been restored. Because that's what our King does: He forgives and restores. Long Live the King!I have enjoyed and will continue to enjoy the Whispered and Shouted album. The CD was keeping me company while I wrote this post. I am trusting God to make a beautiful mosaic out of my broken life as only He does. He is and continues to show grace in my life. He is so faithful.

To God be all the glory.

PS - Be sure to look at the previous post. I put a great picture of Cole at his end of season baseball party from Wednesday night.

A Herd of Pachyderms

Dave arrrived safely home Wednesday at midnight. Last night was spent hearing the boys catching up on spending time with him. Stuart was privileged to have a horsie ride. When asked what was his horse's name he would respond "Daddy". So cute. The older boys along with Stuart then "wrestled" while I was finishing up the dishes. As they were laughing and making obnoxious noises it really sounded like a herd of pachyderms in the house. Oh the joy of having daddy back home after a long trip. For me it seemed especially long due to the busy first two days of the week. Two doctors in two days is enough for me. Wednesday night was Cole's end of year baseball party with trophies given out. Thursday was a great day of staying mostly home.

We are looking forward to no agendas this coming weekend. Nothing is scheduled on the calendar. We might take a family journey to Grants Farm or the zoo. Dave needs to sleep in on Saturday morning due to not sleeping well on his trip.

Glad to have Daddy Dave home!

Cole with baseball buddies, James and Will

For my benefit

17 - Surely it was for my benefit

that I suffered such anguish.

In your love you kept me

from the pit of destruction;

you have put all my sins

behind your back.

18 - For the grave cannot praise you,

death cannot sing your praise;

those who go down to the pit

cannot hope for your faithfulness.

19 - The living, the living -- they praise you,

as I am doing today;

fathers tell their children

about your faithfulness.

Isaiah 38:17-19

This week I have been studying the life of king Hezekiah. I am amazed more and more how scripture is so alive. I love just digging deeper and deeper only to find more nuggets of great stuff! Sad to say it has taken me YEARS to come to studying like this. God is patient.

Hezekiah's heart was proud as stated in 2 Chronicles 32:25. I see a great resemblance in me as well. (Of course, I don't know what human is not proud in one way or another if we are honest with each other.) Being prideful and having brain cancer - I really love verse 17 above on how Hezekiah's illness was for his benefit. I am seeing that cancer is nothing but for my benefit. Major refining going on at this home. Hurts at times but beneficial and necessary.

The "Ah hah" moments with God are wonderful. Just two nights ago I came to a small, very miniscule, tiny (You get the point!) realization of why I was privileged to study I Peter in the fall of 2006 and Daniel this past spring. A portion of I Peter deals with the inner beauty of a person. One of Daniel focuses is the Babylonian empire which basically resembles the western culture today. With having cancer I have been so transfixed on how I looked on the outside particularly the hair! More and more God is centering my focus to the inward. It is a daily sometime hourly task.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment such as braided hair and the wearing of gold and jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of you inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

I Peter 3:3-4

Ok, you are not going to see me wearing sack cloth anytime soon. I do think it is very appropriate for me to be looking my best but it shouldn't be everything about who I am as a person- as a child of the King. I think you understand where I am coming from.

I am so excited about my upcoming fall / spring study with Community Bible Study (CBS). They will cover the The Divided Kingdom and the Minor Prophets: I & II Kings, Hosea, Joel, Amos, Obadiah, Jonah, Micah, Nahum, Habakkuk and Zephaniah. Whew! I have never studied any of these. If I may I will be quoting Beth Moore. "My brain will be hurting after this study!" Can't wait for it to begin in the fall. Stuart will love going as well for they have a great childrens ministry.

I am continuing to read Heaven by Randy Alcorn this summer. It's great and hurting my brain as well. The only bummer is that I left it at my eye doctors appointment today downtown. I am planning on picking it up on Friday at the St. Lukes location. They were willing to send it there with records. Hmmmm, I wonder if anyone will look at it. I have plenty of notes in there to ponder.

As for todays eye appointment everything is looking good. I am far sighted but nothing to worry about at this time. Dr. Cohen says my eyes are still young that I don't notice the far sightedness. A little boost to the ego. : ) He wants to see me every 6 months to follow my eye care for any signs of radiation complications. My next appointment is in late December. Low and behold I had seen him in 2000 and didn't remember for it was at the St. Lukes office. I am sure I have seen an ophthamologist since 2000 but not sure where or when it was. If it was my kids I could tell you what doctors they have seen but not me. Tells you where I choose to remember things.

Thanking God for my vision. Not just vision to see things but to see Him more clearly as well. I am sure there is a good quote for that one. If you know it - post it.

Today was a good day!

New Radiation Doctor

Dr. Mai is going to be a great fit as a new radiation oncologist. She did a complete exam and told me of many positive things. One being that a study was done some time ago in regards to primary brain tumor patients and the outcome of their life expectancy. She stated that I rank at the top of that study due to my neurological findings, age and overall health which in turn gives me a higher life expectancy. Dr. Mai gave me the exact name of the study for Dave and I to read for ourselves. We will obviously be reading that medical journal study from the radiation aspect. So glad we have doctors who care about their patients. Dr. Mai also said that I will only need to keep up my visits and MRI's with Dr. Needles and only see her on a "as needed" basis if symptoms arise. She will receive updates through Dr. Needles.

Another great aspect of my morning was getting in to see Dr. Cohen for tomorrow yes, tomorrow at 11 am. The secretary said that Dr. Cohen just had a cancellation for tomorrow otherwise it would be sometime late August before I could be seen. I was elated! Is that God or what? I feel bad for my mom as she was already here this morning taking care of the boys. She was willing to return tomorrow. Stuart will need to take his nap around 1 pm. Dr. Cohen's main office is at Siteman. All my follow ups can be done at St. Lukes which is much closer to home. The secretary said for me to expect that I will be at Dr. Cohen's office for a minimum of one and a half hours. That is normal for most doctors at Siteman. I may run downstairs to radiology to say "hi" to Dot, Hope and Steph my receptionist friends. I miss seeing them as I did every day for 30 days.

Thanks for praying!

Doctors and a homerun

Tomorrow will be my consultation appointment with radiation oncologist, Dr. Julie Mai at St. John's. My appointment is at 9 am. I very much wanted to find a radiation oncologist to manage my care closer to home. I'll keep you posted.

Also, I received an email from a friends husband, Dr. J. William Harbour who is an ophthalmologist specializing in eye cancer at Washington University School of Medicine / Siteman. I had wanted his opinion on whether or not I should try to find a ophthalmologist that specializes in any type of cancer due to ocular side effects of conventional cancer treatments (RT, chemo & biologic agents) a specialist would be able to have a more educated view on issues that may arise in the years to come. I am aware that cataracts could be in my future due to the RT. Dr. Harbour's recommendation was to "start with a good general ophthalmologist, then they can refer you if you need a specialist. I would recommend Dr. Bruce Cohen, who can see you at St. Lukes in Chesterfield. He is a general ophthalmologist but also has retina training." I will be calling to make an appointment tomorrow with Dr. Cohen. Please pray I can get in before the first of July. Dr. Harbour said for me to call his assistant to help in getting an appointment. He has been another blessing in this trial. Praising God for all the puzzle pieces of blessings! We have known their family since Dave and I were newly married and childless.

FYI - The next time you see Dave be sure to give him a BIG congrats! He had his very first out the the park homerun at his softball game on Friday evening. The older boys were quite proud as they had insisted that he hit a homerun. Daddy pulled through with their request. Cole ran up to him to high five him before any of Dave's team mates. Carter now has bragging rights with Mr. Wicht on the opposing Covenant softball team. Carter states that the Covenant team is "going down". He thinks the Chesterfield blue team rocks. I will try and tell you the possible secret to the homerun. It has something to do with body mechanics and family exercise time. My tushy is sore from the exercise. It strengthens your core. Mr. Dave the researcher has done much reading on proper mechanics in pitching. Carter wants to pitch in his upcoming fall ball league. Dave is getting him ready. I along with Cole join in for fun.

Doctors and more doctors in my future! The story of my life. . . . Kate

A Legacy

I have had this post written since last Saturday as a draft and was trying to decide whether or not to post it.

There are many songs on XM 32 and the local christian radio station that I listen more intently to lately. Another blogger friend that I have been following recently just posted a song that I just pondered a few days ago. It speaks of a persons desire to leave a legacy to those she leaves behind in this world. My prayer is that I will have done just that. Not to be remembered for that young mom that had brain cancer but something more significant.

The song is Legacy by Nichole Nordeman. Turn it up!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0S0ep-QsNI

What will you and I be remembered for?

Daddy Dave

Anyone can be a Father-
but it takes

someone special

to be a

Daddy!

Dave is such a wonderful dad to our boys. It shows through his commitment to come home directly from work to play in the backyard . . . catching an earlier flight to spend time with our family. . . to . . . attending the many sporting/school events. The list goes on and on. His unending love and concern is astounding. I love him. The boys love him! I am grateful that he shows Christ's love to our boys in tangible ways. His unselfish heart is really what shines. I am most proud to call David C. Snodgrass the daddy of our children. Even though he is imperfect like all of us - he is the best leader for our family.

Dave - You are the best daddy anywhere- If I do say so myself ! You are what I had desired long ago for a husband and father of my children. This really is the best time in all my life. Cancer and all, I wouldn't trade it for the world. You are a blessing from the Lord. I love you with all my heart.

Happy Father's Day!

7 + months out

I would have thought that being seven plus months out from brain surgery that my head wouldn't be sore. That is not the case. At certain locations my head is sore to the touch. Don't even mention the pain I would have if I were hit by something or even if one of the boys accidentally bumped heads with me. That would send me to the roof! It was especially uncomfortable the other day when I put on a bike helmet. I was spending some quality one on one time time with Cole biking in our neighborhood. A special Mommy and Cole date.

I forgot to mention in the previous blog about my crying bout prior to seeing Dr. Needles. I awoke at 4:30 in the morning and couldn't go back to sleep since I reminded myself that "Oh yeah today I find out if any growth is present." Now getting up at 4:30 is not the odd part. It is the not being able to fall back asleep at that hour of the morning. After taking the boys to VBS I chatted with my dear friends Emily and Laurie in the parking lot. We conversed and I told them to pray for me if there is growth for I will be in utter despair. I departed with those words and cried walking to the van. I sat in the van and had a good cry then drove off to see Dr. Needles. All the emotions of the surgery, me being a cancer patient, the boys, Dave and recalling my early December pit of despair came back to me on Wednesday morning. I am so very thankful that it didn't really bother me till Wednesday morning. I really didn't even entertain the thought. After the doctors appointment I was really praising God for walking me through all of my emotions. He has been so good to me. So to ask was I worried? No. Concerned? Yes. Who wouldn't be? I just do not try to dwell on the negatives of my cancer. I need to live my life as God desires me to do. Day to day depending on Him for my every need.

Happy Birthday to my mom today!

Praising God that Dave just now called to tell me his plane has landed from his Arizona trip. Also thanking God that I didn't have a break down till the morning of finding the MRI results.

Pray for my sleep. I haven't had a great nights rest for a while now. I would like to stay asleep till the alarm goes off at 6:15 am. Also please pray that the soreness on my head would lessen each day.

Looks Great!

"It looks great!" as said by my oncologist, Dr. Needles. He read the MRI report and said that the scan compared to the November 2006 scan was great! I questioned him whether that was a good idea to compare from that long ago or should it have been compared to the Siteman March / April scans. He said that it was actually better that it was compared to November due to the fact that a person can have gradual growth and it sometimes doesn't show from scan to scan (given that the scans were only 1 month apart in the spring). He was so chipper today. A much needed sigh of relief came from me after he answered all my questions.

I am changing radiation oncologist to be at St. John's as well. Dr. Julie Mai will oversee my care. She has in the past done care down at Siteman and Dr. Needles thought it best to see her or one other in that same practice. I have a consultation appointment with her on Monday, June 25. I needed to get in to see her prior to the July 1 increased insurance copay ($30 instead of $50). Dr. Needles thought it was a good idea to switch over. I am not sure I will see much of any radiation oncologist since I will be under the watchful eye of Dr. Needles every 3 months. Of course, I really don't know what will be happening in the months to come. I have learned that much thus far. My time is really not my time anymore.

The next MRI will be on Tuesday, September 11 with a follow up doctors appointment on that Thursday the 13th.

Looking forward to enjoying the rest of summer cancer free!
PS - Sorry for no poem this time. I wasn't feeling too creative today.

By God's own choosing

A card came in the mail today from a couple whom I have never met at our church thanking me for sharing my video testimony on Sunday, June 2. I think I had failed to tell you all about the video. Sorry about that but, it did go well. My hope was that it blessed many. I was quite surprised at the video clip for they edited it down to be just what trial I have been going through. I will get my whole testimony - how I came to know Christ along with cancer journey on CD eventually. Ok on to why I wrote this blog post tonight . . . The card that came in the mail was perfect timing. It said get well soon and had some inspirational cards enclosed as well. One of the inspirational cards is a true keeper! Here are the words below-

God Loves You

You are here, not by chance, but by God's own choosing.

His hand formed you and made you the person you are.

He compares you to no one else, for you are one of a kind.

You lack nothing that His grace cannot give you.

He has allowed you to be here at this time in history

To fulfill His special plan and purpose for this generation.

What encouragement! Just what I needed for today! Is that not a God thing? Just love the last line about my purpose in this generation. Thought provoking. I thank them for being so thoughtful in sending it my way. The body of Christ really has been used in powerful ways.

Cole was asking tonight about the number of scans that I will have to do. My response was that it will be every 2 - 3 months depending on what the doctor prefers. I also told him that I think the next one will be in September right after school starts. He then went on about how he didn't want school to start yet. I smiled and told him that he needn't worry about school just yet. Enjoy our summer for it has just started.

I truly am not worried about tomorrow's 9:45 am doctor visit. Concerned but not worried. It is good to be able to say that. Just at the pool tonight a friend whom I haven't seen in ages asked how I was doing and if I ever felt "normal". Honestly I told her it has been feeling more like normal again. A little lull has been very good for the soul for in the beginning all I could think about was the brain cancer. Dave just informed me that he is going to try attend the doctors visit since it is so close to his work. ---- Another praise right there! So glad I changed doctors to be closer to everything!

Praying for a clear scan. I'll keep you posted.

A Boring / Different MRI

The verdict is in that this new MRI site does things a little differently than Siteman. I absolutely love being at this location. Besides parking being convenient it is a quiet location with not a lot of hub bub. AFter filling out paperwork I was escorted to take my belongings (purse) including my earrings to a locker. Two things that were different were that they didn't require me to take off any articles of clothing that had a zipper or metal parts to it. I did opt to take off an undergarment that had some wiring due to the fact that the last MRI with St. Johns it was pulling upwards and was uncomfortable. Another change was that a folded dry washcloth was put over my eyes. At Siteman they just wanted me to not open my eyes. Never really got a clear reason why. Anyway the MRI lady told me the washcloth was to help patients with or without claustrophobia to relax. I am not sure it helped me as I was wanting to watch the numbers on the scanner to see how much on each clicking/series of scans were left as I have done in the past. She said she would be willing to tell me how many minutes were left on some of the tests performed. The last item that was different was that my bloodwork was taken midway into my scan. They rolled me out of the tube to take blood (mind you without me seeing due to the washcloth) and also gave my contrast at that time for the remainder portion of the scan. The needle did sting more than it has in the past but I didn't mind not being able to see the needle. The sting really is my only complaint. I really was at peace in the tube and not anxiously waiting for it to be over.

Many thanks to Michelle Roloff for giving me the Watermark CD at the beginning of this trial. It helped to pass the time. I love the praise songs especially the one titled Who am I?. If you haven't heard the song try downloading it sometime soon!

Thanks for praying for peace. Continue to pray for a clear reading. I'll keep you posted on what Dr. Needles has to say on Wednesday.

Weekend Happenings

This weekend was a fun one. I am going to give you the low down on most of what happened.



Friday:

1. Cole had a baseball game in the evening at 6 pm. Did not win the game but he sure is a great first baseman. Very proud! When he batted and was on first base you should have seen how he spoke to the other teams first baseman to kinda move out of the way so he had a clear run to second base. He was moving him over with his hand and stretching his legs to get ready. Quite amusing. I think I even got it on video.

2. Dave had a softball game at 6 pm as well. The boys and I had hoped to get a picnic dinner and watch his game. Unfortunately his team didn't win. They had some fast innings. We weren't able to see him play. It wasn't one of his better games. No triples this time.

Saturday:

1. Carter had two baseball games back to back (double header) in the morning. He played the best I have seen him play. His pants showed how aggressive he was in the infield. Dirty, dirty, dirty. Carter usually plays shortstop or pitcher position. It is a machine pitch league. They lost the first game and won the second.

2. In the evening Carter & I went to the Cardinals game. Dave's company have tickets that they give out and Dave won two for Saturday evening prior to Carter's birthday. We gave him the tickets as one of his birthday gifts. Free is always good. Carter chose me to be his companion. I was quite surprised as Daddy is usually the one that attends the sporting events if only two tickets are available. To find out later on the ride home . . . I was chosen because Carter knew I would stay till the end of the game. Dave doesn't like to deal with traffic so he usually leaves around the eighth inning. Another reason why he chose me (which he told Daddy while he was being tucked in) was that I would buy him Mr. Pibb. Dave laughed when he told me this and said "I guess Carter knows you are a softy." I guess I am. I figure when you are at the ballgame why not have some fun? I stuck with the grilled chicken sandwich and water. BTW the seats were only about 6 rows back from the field.

Sunday:

1. Church - As always it is good to be in fellowship with other believers.

2. Went tadpole hunting with great friends at a local park. We call it the rock park. Stuart was right in there enjoying the murky water. The tadpoles were in a deeper area so it was difficult to catch them. It was too bad for the tadpoles were huge bullfrog variety. The boys ended up with some crawdads and baby frogs. Meegan, Madeline and Sarah Elizabeth were happy to be with the "hunters". Last year Meegan caught a big tadpole while she was staying with us. We put it on the back patio so she could take it to school to show everyone. Low and behold the tadpole was not alive in the morning. A night scavenger thought it was a tasty treat. Only pieces of the tadpole were left in the bucket. Tasty! Yuck!

Tomorrow is my MRI at 9:30. Pray for me to be at peace / not to be anxious in the scanning tube. Also for me to have some good time with the Lord. The older boys will be at Vacation Bible School this week. Wednesday is when the results will be made known to me.

Memories of the Baby Years

Thinking back to when Carter, Cole and Stuart were babies I couldn't help but write . . .

I love my boys so much. They have brought out a desire in me to change, to grow and to be better at life. To know God and teach them to know Him. I laugh and cry with every tender baby boy memory and pondered how faithful God had been to such an incapable young mom especially the Carter and Cole baby years.

It seems that cancer has also brought about a similar change in my daily life.

Just want you to know that I surely do love you as my praying bloggers. I count it a priviledge to journal, to cry with you and more than anything on earth, to chase after Jesus with you. He reallly makes life worth living.

Take time to look at baby pictures and your baby bins of clothes in storage. It is good for the soul.

Thank him for all

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.

Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.

Philippians 4:6 NLT

After reading to Stuart at bedtime I Can Talk with God by Debby Anderson this above verse really spoke to me. The book is all about prayer. I have read it multiple times in the years as I almost have it memorized but tonight the verse spoke to me.

Prior to dinner Dave informed me that our insurance premiums are increasing as of July 1st. From specialist copays ($20 increase) to the deductible per person and family increase it was a "Oh my" response in my heart. Good ol' fear of money crept in once more. I haven't a reason be fearful for God continues to provide each time. It has been sometimes just at the last minute (by my standards) but provision was still granted. The children's book even gives the analogy of a stop light in how God answers prayer. Red for "no", green for "yes" and yellow for "wait". My timing is different than God's but I am so grateful that he promises to hear every word and to help every time. (Ephesians 6:18; Psalm 4:3) I half jokingly told Dave it was probably my brain cancer that increased the premiums for the whole company. He said that we weren't the highest on the sheet. Unfortunately there have been many in the company that have had hardship in their families this past year. What a good reminder for me that in this world we will have trouble. We are broken people.

The verse also says to thank him for all he has done. I have so much to be thankful for. The blog post would be over 20 pages long if I wrote it all down. I am more convinced than ever before that most in this area that I live in have it very good. Food to eat, a roof over our head and a vehicle to drive. That is alot more than most. Have you thanked him for all he has done for you?

He is worthy.

Praying for a clear scan this coming Monday. My MRI has been changed to 9:30 am. Still seeing Dr. Needles on Wednesday at 9:45 am.

Thankful that we even have health insurance,

kate

Happy Birthday Carter

Happy 9th Birthday Carter!

Yesterday, Carter had a special day all his own. He requested biscuits and gravy for breakfast and it was granted. I hadn't made biscuits and gravy since I cut out sausage from my diet. I limit sausage consumption with the boys significantly. I figure one morning is not going to hurt.

After the yummy breakfast that Cole thoroughly enjoyed as well a fun party with friends started after lunch. While Stuart was napping we played many games/relays. Carter and Cole tied on the football throwing game. They had to throw from a distance into a rectangular goal. Each person received one point if they got it into the goal but hit the chain. Two points were given if they didn't hit any sides. A tie breaker was done at the end and Carter came out on top. Great job Cole and Carter! They both have a great arm and aim.

Another fun relay was having each boy run a distance to a pile of football gear to put on. They were to put on pads, an old Rams jersey and a helmet. I would then take their picture and they would run back to the starting line. Carter won with 34 seconds. The other boys score ranged from 54 seconds to 1 minute 26 seconds. I think Carter had an advantage for he practiced many times prior to his special day.
Everyone enjoyed ice cream and a football shaped cake. Funny story behind that one. I was up late Monday night making the cake because I felt guilty just having cupcakes for the party. I want my boys to remember in years to come that I went all out to make them feel special on their birthdays. At bedtime while tucking him in Carter said he didn't mind the cupcakes I had already made but he preferred a cake. He was gracious about it. So off I went to the store to purchase the cake mixes and ingredients for homemade icing. I couldn't in good conscious ice the cake with the pre made stuff. The ingredient list was scary. The cakes turned out well. I made two because they were small. Carter also was given a choice of a special dinner at home or to eat out. He chose to eat out. Fine with me! After planning a party and making two cakes late Monday night I didn't really want to make a dinner. We ended the day with a ballgame. Carter's team lost by only one run. The team all shared cupcakes at the end.

Needless to say I didn't have time to blog yesterday for sleep was a priority!

Opps! I forgot to mention the party favors. They were a special case filled with baseball and football cards. The company personalized them with whatever I wanted. I had it to say "Carter's 9th Birthday June 5, 2007. The ebay company was great to work with and they even gave me Carter's for free and put his favorite teams in his! We could of had all football cards but Carter doesn't care for football cards. His real passion is baseball. We had a baseball party last year and didn't want to do another.

Words Hurt

Pray for Cole as today he was crying about me dying before him.

This afternoon I was crying for my lack of restraint with my degrading words to Cole. He really has been hurt by what I said about a month ago. While in his room I apologized and told him that parents make many mistakes. This is one mistake that I regret and am very sorry. I told him that loved him so much and don't want to hurt his feelings. I then went on to to explain that my love for him is why I am wanting to live a long, long time. To watch him grow into a man would be a delight to my heart. He was crying and said "Like when I am in college?" I told him "I hope to see you be a daddy with kids running around your legs. I would really love to see you be an old man." He said that he didn't think he would like having kids run around his legs. He will enjoy them when they are a little older. (Ok, whatever . . . that is totally a Cole response.) During this time he started to cry with me and said that he is worried that I will die before he does. I told him that it could be possible but we are praying that it doesn't happen anytime soon. I explained to him that great grandma died prior to grandma but she was 83 years old. I further went on to tell him that it is usually normal for older people to die prior to younger. We hugged, kissed and I affirmed him. He then decided to go outside and help me plant my 14 flower containers prior to family coming for Carter's birthday BBQ celebration. He loves digging. Looking for worms and grubs is a highlight. He is great with the sharpshooter shovel.

Pray for Cole's tender heart. I really made a huge mistake. The word I used is something I jokingly call myself at times and I shouldn't have used it in a passing comment to him. Pray for my words not just to Cole but to everyone. I ask that you pray for me to be humble in all I do. In words and in deed.

Words hurt.

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A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a wise man overlooks an insult.

Proverbs 13:16

Starting last Sunday our family has started to memorize a verse a week. Last week it was the above verse. A great time of discussing was had at the dinner table. When it is right to overlook an insult and when it should not be overlooked? Honestly it was very difficult to come to a final conclusion. We ended up in agreement that it really depends case by case. Carter quickly said "I have been a fool." I laughed and said I am in the same boat. Unfortunately, in the past (and still now at times) it has been hard for me to overlook offenses. I sought/seek revenge. Sad but true. I am working on it.

Dave explained that the book of Proverbs are not absolute truths but rather truisms, things that are generally true. For example -

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Pr 22:6

A christian parent can train their child the very best they could and does that guarantee he will stick to the path? No. Will most? Yes.

I am not sure why we have never taken a verse a week to memorize before now. It has proven to be such a great time of discussion. Somehow last week we even got on the subject of the mustard seed. Oh and was that good? Cole really was intrigued by how the mustard seed plant can be so large and produce so many tiny seeds. Great gospel illustration.

I also have been reading Heaven by Randy Alcorn for my personal summer devotional. This book has really been a great blessing. Very insightful. I am only on chapter seven. I suggest you read it too if you haven't. It has made me think of things that I haven't ever pondered prior to now. It even touches on the subject of animals. I haven't gotten to that chapter yet so can't tell you what it says.

Carter's 9th birthday is this Tuesday. I have been having fun planning football themed games. The party favors I ordered online from ebay will be a big hit. Remind me to tell you about them if I forget. They are a must have for any parent of a boy who loves sports and will be having a sport themed party. No sugar or cheap breakable toys. Something that is really neat and useful. They are even personalized!

I will lift my eyes

But now, this is what the LORD says- he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel; "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze."

Isaiah 43: 1-2

The following song on youtube.com spoke volumes to me a few months back. I want to encourage anyone going through a trial to listen closely to the words that Bebo Norman sings.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=H8sQdNS66Yk

Upcoming MRI - Monday, June 11 at 10 am
Doctor Needles consult - Wednesday, June 13 - 9:45 am

It has been a good couple of weeks. Thanks to all for praying for not just me but the whole family. Continue to pray for a clear MRI scan.

The name of the LORD is a strong tower;

the righteous run to it and are safe.

Proverbs 18:10

You will be secure, because there is hope;

you will look about youand take your rest in safety.

You will lie down, with no one to make you afraid,

and many will court your favor.

Job 11:18-19

The LORD will keep you from all harm --

he will watch over your life;

the LORD will watch over your coming

and going both now and forevermore.

Psalm 121: 7 - 8

much love - kate