Pray for Cole as today he was crying about me dying before him.
This afternoon I was crying for my lack of restraint with my degrading words to Cole. He really has been hurt by what I said about a month ago. While in his room I apologized and told him that parents make many mistakes. This is one mistake that I regret and am very sorry. I told him that loved him so much and don't want to hurt his feelings. I then went on to to explain that my love for him is why I am wanting to live a long, long time. To watch him grow into a man would be a delight to my heart. He was crying and said "Like when I am in college?" I told him "I hope to see you be a daddy with kids running around your legs. I would really love to see you be an old man." He said that he didn't think he would like having kids run around his legs. He will enjoy them when they are a little older. (Ok, whatever . . . that is totally a Cole response.) During this time he started to cry with me and said that he is worried that I will die before he does. I told him that it could be possible but we are praying that it doesn't happen anytime soon. I explained to him that great grandma died prior to grandma but she was 83 years old. I further went on to tell him that it is usually normal for older people to die prior to younger. We hugged, kissed and I affirmed him. He then decided to go outside and help me plant my 14 flower containers prior to family coming for Carter's birthday BBQ celebration. He loves digging. Looking for worms and grubs is a highlight. He is great with the sharpshooter shovel.
Pray for Cole's tender heart. I really made a huge mistake. The word I used is something I jokingly call myself at times and I shouldn't have used it in a passing comment to him. Pray for my words not just to Cole but to everyone. I ask that you pray for me to be humble in all I do. In words and in deed.