Friday, June 15, 2007

7 + months out

I would have thought that being seven plus months out from brain surgery that my head wouldn't be sore. That is not the case. At certain locations my head is sore to the touch. Don't even mention the pain I would have if I were hit by something or even if one of the boys accidentally bumped heads with me. That would send me to the roof! It was especially uncomfortable the other day when I put on a bike helmet. I was spending some quality one on one time time with Cole biking in our neighborhood. A special Mommy and Cole date.

I forgot to mention in the previous blog about my crying bout prior to seeing Dr. Needles. I awoke at 4:30 in the morning and couldn't go back to sleep since I reminded myself that "Oh yeah today I find out if any growth is present." Now getting up at 4:30 is not the odd part. It is the not being able to fall back asleep at that hour of the morning. After taking the boys to VBS I chatted with my dear friends Emily and Laurie in the parking lot. We conversed and I told them to pray for me if there is growth for I will be in utter despair. I departed with those words and cried walking to the van. I sat in the van and had a good cry then drove off to see Dr. Needles. All the emotions of the surgery, me being a cancer patient, the boys, Dave and recalling my early December pit of despair came back to me on Wednesday morning. I am so very thankful that it didn't really bother me till Wednesday morning. I really didn't even entertain the thought. After the doctors appointment I was really praising God for walking me through all of my emotions. He has been so good to me. So to ask was I worried? No. Concerned? Yes. Who wouldn't be? I just do not try to dwell on the negatives of my cancer. I need to live my life as God desires me to do. Day to day depending on Him for my every need.

Happy Birthday to my mom today!

Praising God that Dave just now called to tell me his plane has landed from his Arizona trip. Also thanking God that I didn't have a break down till the morning of finding the MRI results.

Pray for my sleep. I haven't had a great nights rest for a while now. I would like to stay asleep till the alarm goes off at 6:15 am. Also please pray that the soreness on my head would lessen each day.

2 comments:

Laura Joback said...

Hey! Glad to hear you're in the world of normalcy as the REST of us would be going through what you're going through--I think your waking early at 4:30, breakdown cry with friends, further crying alone in the van on the way to the appointment is ALL WAY WAY WAY OK, understandable, warranted, and all that good stuff. Grace to you from all of us! Also glad that God provided your friends to pray for you IN THE MOMENT that morning--it's what you needed AND, thank the Lord, what you received! Prayers are going up for you from all corners of St. Louis more often than you know! We all love you so dearly! Thanks for mentioning that your head hurts, too, in case any of us were tempted to give you a noogie, er, um, or is it spelled nuggie (who knows?...perhaps it's never even made Webster's Dictionary and nobody really knows HOW to spell it)...anyway...one of those affectionate knuckles to the noggin if we ever crossed your path. Note to self: no noogies and no nuggies to Kate. There. Feel much better about that. Approaching your corner? Oops, who's that? It's US! We're already IN IT! Love ya! Jobacks out!

Emily said...

Praying for sweet dreams! Love, Em