Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Telling boys some information

I did forget to mention yesterday that if we are to do the surgery once more. It will most likely be sooner than later due to this type of cancer producing "fingers" that can branch out to other parts of the brain. A person cannot have brain surgery on two different sides of the brain. Please pray over this coming Thursday at 4 pm for wisdom - Dave & I along with the doctors. Should we have another person read the spectroscopy? We just don't know.

I woke up at 4:30 this morning and once my mind started thinking couldn't go back to bed. Gotta get to my Bible study in few. I had this written last night yet didn't post it. Please read it as if it were written last night (Monday).

We did tell the boys tonight that the doctors want to talk to us about the test results. There is a possibility that "Mom might have to have more treatment and maybe an operation again." Carter asked if the cancer was back. We felt right now not to say that the cancer has returned. He is taking it harder than Cole which is what I expected. He mentioned that "I wish you didn't have cancer. I want you back to the way you were." I hugged him and said it is fine to cry. Dave & I said that more will be discussed on Thursday at 4 pm with both doctors. We shared the following verse over ice cream.

Fear not, for I am with you.
Do not be dismayed, I am your God.
I will strengthen you; I will help you;
I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.
Psalm 84:11
Cole broke out in song from the Karyn Henley DVD series . . . .

"I am your God,
I am your God,
I am your God who holds your right hand and I say to you
do not be afraid
for I will help you

In God I trust
I will not be afraid
In God I trust
I will not be afraid

For He will take care of me."

Praising God for ice cream delights during heavy times. Praising Him for putting a song in Cole's heart.
Carter later came up to me when alone and said "I sure hope you don't have surgery. It isn't the same without you around."

My heart is heavy thinking about it all but I do know that God is by my side. I am so glad I am loved by Him.

I did tell Dave over the phone earlier today with the news that although I am devastated that I am not dead. He came home with lunch for both of us. I love him so. I also shared with my aunt over the phone that I didn't think "Why me?" this time. God is obviously not finished with me or someone else who is watching. Pray that I don't become easily discouraged. This is a long journey that I really didn't want to take at this time.

We are taking it one day at a time. That is all God really wants us to do.

Worry is like taking tomorrows clouds
and putting them on todays sunshine.

I did find some sunshine today. One being that I have felt good for a whole year! God's word strengthening me not only today but this past year. Cole hugging me early this morning before leaving for school. Stuart loving me while I was crying today. Carter's tenderness to the whole ordeal this evening. Dave leaving work to be with me.

When putting the boys to bed tonight I read two books with them. One was about a crippled lamb and how he was created for a special job. That job ended up being to keep king Jesus warm as a baby. I told each boy that God doesn't make mistakes and that He chose them to be in our family for a reason. God knew they would have a mom who would have brain cancer and that God would use it in their lives. Carter really pondered this and asked how God would use it. I said I didn't know but I do know He will. Cole just prayed tenderly tonight for no cancer growth. When finished I told him if there is cancer that God will see us through like He did last time. Cole's only reservation was that he didn't like grandma watching them due to arriving late to school and not having that first drop off recess. I laughed and said that could be worked out. Oh, the innocence of children. I love them.


Nic Callan said...

Dear Kate, I'm so sorry to hear this again. I praise God with you for your great husband and your sweet boys, but this news is heavy for me, too, because I love you.
Hang in there, and know that five of us here are praying for five of you there.

Matt and Amy said...

Kate and Family,

Our family will be praying for you all! Praying for healing, wisdom, comfort, and the Lord's will be done!

Matt & Amy Darr

(we're the ones that ran into you in the pediatrician's office a few months ago)

Anonymous said...

Dear Kate and Dave,
We ache for you. And pray for you.

For he knows our frame;
he remembers that we are dust.
Ps. 103:14

In the midst of all this, it is a joy to see the Lord doing a deep work in your whole family.

"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand. I and the Father are one."
John 10:27-30

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
when sorrows like sea billows roll;
whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,
"It is well, it is well with my soul."

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
let this blest assurance control,
that Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
and has shed his own blood for my soul.

Kate and Dave, we are thanking the Lord for protecting your souls (all five of you), for maintaining in each of you a tender heart toward him. We're praying for the Lord to heal your body.

Love and prayers,
Diane Collins (and Jack, Joy and Joseph)

Anonymous said...

Kate and Dave,

We are so sorry to hear this news. My heart hurts for you guys as you face the reality and the uncertainty of going through more treatment.

We are praying for you, for HEALING, strength, comfort, wisdom as you make decisions and as you share with the boys. Most of all we're asking the Lord to do great things through you.

You are loved by so many... most of all by our gracious, loving God who knit you together and knows the plans He has for you. Praying for amazing blessings in the midst of these difficult days.

Stacey Preis

Anonymous said...

Dear Kate, Dave, & the boys,
Our hearts are filled with great sadness as we read about this news. You are such a wonderful family & you will persevere through this new trial just as you have the others. Kate, you are such a tower of strength! God has filled you with such courage, strength, and love. Please know that as your neighbors we are here for you and we will continue to pray for your healing.
Dawn & George Kim

Julie said...

We are praying for peace and wisdom this week for you, your family, and the doctors.

Julie (for the Bauers)

Kath said...

Kate,It's hard to hear of your news. I've been praying for you for over a year, since the Monday night before you found out you had a brain tumor. As you know I'm not good with words but God is and his words says" Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. " Matt 11:28-30
Kate, you a wonderful, strong and Godly woman with a Srong and Godly man at your side. I will be praying for you and your family.

Ramona Lisa said...

Time, indeed, is a sacred gift, and each day is a little life. ~Sir John Lubbock

Thinking of you. Love you!

Anonymous said...

Dear Kate, I am so sorry to hear the news. Frankly, I am mad at Adam and Eve right now, for messing up God's intentions for us. I know that only God can turn this into blessings and, from your postings, it is obvious that you are a Godly woman and seek Him. I pray that He bless this situation as only He can. My prayers are not just for you and your husband, but your precious little boys. Jane Yount (Laura Joback's friend)

Anonymous said...

Precious Kate -

Laura called me RIGHT away! She asked that I get people praying - WOW, I think it worked!
I hadn't read your blog in quite a while. Reading your words about all this was like you were talking to me! Reading Ps. 84:11 "my verse" from my testimony was powerful! Hold onto it sweetie!!!Our class prayed mightily over you this AM and I know it'll continue! I'm here for you and I'll pray daily -
Your 74 cent friend (Ha Ha!),

Anonymous said...

Kate and Dave...Just updated on your blog and am so very sorry to hear your news. Please know that the two of you and the boys remain in our thoughts and prayers. May God grant you peace and comfort throughout the decision making process and in the upcoming events you will endure. jen s.....dave and hannah

Gracie and Laura said...

Gracie and I just read through your latest blog (I'm in Houston with her in Libby's cardiology room) and our hearts are so heavy for you all (or perhaps I should write "y'all" since I'm in Texas now!). We just prayed for each of you - that you would be able to stay strong with the strength and peace that only Jesus gives; that Dave would continue to lead your sweet family and trust the Lord in the process; that each of your precious boys would be given wisdom beyond their years to help process and know the Lord in a very real way along this road. We love you and are praying for you...xoxoxo Laura and Gracie

Anonymous said...

Dear Kate and Dave,

We will continue to lift you up in prayer even more than usual. Our hearts are heavy for you, yet we know, as you know, that you are not traveling this road alone. I was just teaching my 2nd graders the verses from Jeremiah 29 where God promises us that He knows the plans he has for us, plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future and the wonderful promise in the verse that follows where He promises to listen to us and assures us that we will find Him if we seek Him with all our hearts. I know you seek Him and I know He will listen to your prayers and all of our prayers as well. It is so wonderful to find those promises throughout the Bible and we pray that you will be reminded of them as you travel this road again.
We will pray for healing for you and wisdom for the doctors as well and we will continue to ask God to surround you and Dave and your precious boys with His love, comfort and strength.

Rob, Amy, Griffin and Molly

Anonymous said...

Kate, I'm thinking of you swimming in the river and all of us (and all of God's angels) cheering you on....I remember that analogy from way back when in your journal (Hope I remembered it correctly..ha!)

God's people are rallying around you....

"You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; You turn my darkness into light" Ps. 18:28

Love to you,
Sue Stark

Heather said...

You are such an inspiration. As I read your updates I can't help but relate. I am very interested in the name of the book you read to the boys. I would love to read it to Aven and Claudia as well. Keep your spirits up. I often remind myself that Aven too is still very much alive and has much to offer. You offer much comfort to my family and God is not done with you and all your wonderful works. I will pray for you as I know how hard your upcoming decisions will be.

Anonymous said...

You and Dave will be in my prayers today at 4:00 as you talk with your doctors. I pray you'll have the strength and wisdom to comfortably make the next step. Of course, the boys will be in the prayers, too. I pray that the test results were read incorrectly! But if not, I know that you all will fight through this like God's warriors. You so inspire me with your faith, honesty and the love in your heart. I'll be thinking of you all! Hugs, Stacy J