Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Remembering grandpa

Grandpa's memorial was sweet last Sunday. When his eulogy was given there were things about him that I didn't know. It was good to hear. The visitation was from 2-4 pm. The memorial service started around 4:15 and went till 5 ish. Afterwards an extended family dinner was given. Many thanks to my mom's church for providing the food. Also thank you to Aunt Lindas womens group for the yummy desserts. The buttermilk pie was too good. Cousin Corrie and I had our fill that's for sure.

Carter and Cole were told of grandpas passing Friday evening. Cole immediately cried to my surprise. Carter didn't outwardly express his feelings till later. This was a reverse of what I told you earlier. We are pleased that they are talking to us about the whole situation. Many questions are being asked. To the best of our ability we have answered them openly. It was hard for me after the memorial getting into the car to find the both of them crying profusely. They held it in during the four hour service without crying in front of others yet let it out in the car. I started to cry thinking of their feelings if I were the one who passed away. It was hard. As for Stuart he stayed at home with some friends of ours it was during his nap time and would prove to be too long of a day. It also would be hard to corral a three year old in a small funeral home room. That would of been on Dave's shoulders since I was saying hello to many people. On that front...Many people came that I hadn't seen since childhood. I knew for when they said "Katie" that was when people knew me from early years. I changed to Kate in junior high. It was good.

Busy in the home preparing for Dave's Friday birthday among other things.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

My 34 yr. old son is in remission after 4 years of cancer treatment, but he remains on a maintenance program of 1 IV chemo tx every 2 weeks. When he first became ill I had "flash forwards" and envisioned myself caring for him as he was near death. I soon realized that these were visions sent by the 'one who deceives' and were meant to steal my hope. I prayed for God to keep Satan from my thoughts and my life. Don't think of your children grieving for you, if God wills a complete healing, that will never happen. In any case, your Father will be with all of you at all times. Marlene, Michigan

amy said...

Thinking about you and your family

Anonymous said...

Hey...been praying for you (even more than normal)...glad to hear your boys are communicating their feelings with you and Dave. A lot to soak in for little hearts. But going through such trials steels their hearts and is part of growing up, even though it hurts. It would be nice to morph into a big umbrella and shield them from such woundedness, but being a big umbrella would be: a) useless on non-rainy days and b) quite difficult to fit through narrow doorways. Just a thought. Hope your B'Day celebration for Dave goes well. What...is he like 28 or so? Laura Joback

Anonymous said...

Hi Kate, Dave, Carter,
Cole, Stu, and Soccer Gram:
Again I am sorry for your lost of your Grandfather/Great-Grandfather/Dad.
It amazes me how kids interprut or express their feeling of sorrow and grief. I can totally relate to wondering how the the kids would react to me being in the casket or being at my funeral. I have been getting books from Barnes and Noble and some of the Christian bookstores on how kids can deal with or prepare the kids for a death in the family or how to cope with mama being sick. I was surprised and alittle excited that I could find so many books for my little ones, we have started reading one book a day. They are age appropriate and answer some of their questions they have had. There were many books about loosing a grandparent, father, mother, kids loosing their siblings, coping with different illnesses,..etc. There are even some books for the child to draw or color what they are feeling, expressive art. They let the child/adult know that it is okay to be sad, angry,in denial, acceptance, and bargaing- the five steps of grief. It allow the kids to know what they are feeling is normal or typical or okay. If you would like the titles or some help with this issue please email me. Take care and glad you were able to reunite with childhood friends, have good memories of your grandfather. You are all in our hearts, thoughts, and prayers.
Cousin hugs, Danielle

Anonymous said...

I found the book "Double Dip Feelings" helpful when we were going through our medical issues. It helped my children to understand that while we were sad about losing a baby, it was okay to still be happy/excited about other things.

Still praying for you and your family.