Today was the dry run for the radiation which included some X rays & such. The hard mesh mask that was made during the simulation over a week ago was locked into place. It was very tight! It is so snug at my chin. Almost uncomfortable. I realize the whole point is not for me to move AT ALL - Well, that is a guarantee. I cannot even talk my mouth is so compressed. This is no fun! I am not liking the mask. If one was claustophobic it would not be for them.
I am not looking forward to the next 6 weeks. I definitely don't like my head being locked into place. If I need for them to stop the 15 minute treatment at any time I am to wave my hand. I asked them what do if I need to throw up. They simply stated for me to wave my hand.
I asked them about my right optic nerve and if it will be affected. It will receive some radiation. After doing some personal calculations, the right eye will get around 28% of the radiation that is within a safe zone. The left eye will also receive some radiation due to the nature of the IMRT machine. Pray for my vision along with a possibility of cataract issues.
Tonight at dinner I started crying. I am overwhelmed. Cole was so sweet - he said "You will be alright mommy."
Stress was heightened today by the mail order pharmacy. They confused my medication order that came last Monday. I received the Temodar & an anti nausea med. I assumed it was Zofran. (I am to take Zofran the 1st two days of treatment) At 4:30 pm today, I looked into the meds a little further to notice the anti nausea was the other one that I am to take for mild nausea later down the road. I had 30 minutes to try and resolve the problem before 5 o'clock rolled around. I ended up getting a scrip called into Walgreens for 2 tablets of Zofran at $15 per pill. UHC would not allow any further pills or a reduced rate since I have an outstanding scrip on Zofran. The Oregon based mail order company said they would resolve the issue & hopefully fed ex Zofran by tomorrow afternoon. The cost of the pills is not a big deal. Our co pay for doctors alone is $30. Oh well. Money is just not an issue in light of everything going on. I am learning to rely on God for every one of our needs. Big and small.
My first two days are to look as follows:
Wake up & take Zofran with other meds (folic acid & multi vitamin) - Wait 1 hour
Take 140 mg Temodar - Wait 1 hour
Eat a light breakfast
Arrive for radiation at 10 am (usually lasts 15 minutes)
After the 1st two days no Zofran should be needed. I will then use the other anti nasuea med for mild nausea. (whatever that means)
Please pray for Dave & I. Tonight at the dinner hour we seemed to be short fused with the boys. It saddens me to be like that. We are just under so much stress. We need patience and kindness. Continue to pray for all the possible side effects of chemo & radiation. I also need a GREAT nights sleep. I am very tired!
To make light of the whole situation - I guess you could say . . . . I am scared stiff - literally. Kate