Thursday, December 28, 2006

Sorry for the Delay

So sorry for the delay today on the blogger. The update took MUCH longer than expected.

Day 2 radiation is complete. My IMRT machine was being worked on due to the table not functioning correctly. They put me in a different IMRT room. The only bummer was that my CD was in the other room and couldn't be brought to my room. My music the first day brought some comfort to the unknown. Today, U2 was my choice of CD's that they had on hand. I now know to always carry my CD's with me at all times and not leave them in the room as they had suggested. I met with Dr. Simpson today instead of Wednesday. We had good conversation. I am looking forward to getting to know him in the weeks to come. I will be seeing him 1x a week. He has 3 boys.

Last night after posting & the boys were in bed I was having a difficult time emotionally and physically. I had some shivering (I wasn't cold) and a headache. Tylenol took care of the headache. It seems that it is in the evening that I have some low, emotional moments. The unknown long term side effects are a big concern. I also do not like the thought of taking poison (Temador) for a full 6 weeks with no breaks, unlike the radiation. I have concluded that I need to take one day at a time with treatment. I have only 28 treatments left for radiation. Usually M - F except for the New Year's holiday. I am counting down till February 7.

OK - drum roll here . . . . . . . No nausea today. Now the cymbals!

I did not take a nap this afternoon so hopefully I will sleep well tonight. Carter, Cole & I went ice skating for 1 hour. It was fun for all. Cole even had more confidence than he has had in the past. So proud! All of us were glad to get our "ground shoes" back on. I definitely was not meant to be a figure skater. - my figure & skates are painful

Looking for moments to brighten someones day at Siteman have been a good diversion for me. A smile and a kind conversation is all a person might need for that day. I am glad to have various opportunities in the past 3 days. I have met at least 4 people. I am also trying to remember my low, dark moments so I can minister to someone else in the years to come who will be going through this. I can say this IS the hardest thing I have EVER had to endure. It is a true roller coaster of emotions hour by hour. Never have I been so fearful in my life (mainly due to the side effects).

Tonight my concerns are:
1. lower right side doesn't feel quite right - not painful just uncomfortable
2. only one BM this morning, 2 hours later than normal
(yeah! you get to hear about my BM updates)

Thankful that I only have two concerns for the evening.
Not worrying about tomorrow for tomorrow has enough worries of its own.

Kate

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Kate,
You are in HIS care and OUR prayers. You are loved by more people than you will ever know. What an encouragement you are to me today. Ice skating after treatment....... WOW! I feel lazy now! Hope you feel this hug to you! Got-it!
April C

Gram said...

Well the New Year is quickly approaching. Normally my New Year's Resolution would be to lose weight. That is always a good one. This year however I believe it will need to be that I can keep up with Dave's information on nutrition concerning brain tumors. Just when I think I understand the end's and out's of what Kate should be eating, Dave brings home a new 1000 page print out. (just kidding) but he does manage to supply the house with information overload on nutrition concerning cancer. Today I managed to stay one step ahead of him when I remembered to give Kate her midafternoon snack of orange juice with ground flax seed. Now don't all you bloggers turn your nose up at this. It's not bad. I had some myself.
Kate says there is such an animal called Chemo brain. It's when you can't identify items or names. I don't ever recall having Chemo and yet I forget names all the time.
I am trying to memorize the super foods that help to prohibit a thing called angiogenesis. A process whereby tumors stimulate the development of a dense network of new blood vessels to nourish tumor growth and progression. Oddly enough copper is required for some enzymes to foster angiogenesis. Inflammation also promotes it.
Maybe it is possible to teach an old dog new tricks. I lie awake at night wondering how many ways I can adapt Dr. Johanna Budwig's spread of cottage cheese and flaxseed oil. So far I am coming up with a least one per week. This week I turned ordinary deviled eggs into flax oil protein rocket busters. Kate looked at me a little strange when I sit it in front of her.
Aunt Dee Dee on the other hand has developed a special cookie made of dried banana's and other things minus sugar and they were rather good. We did have a hard time getting them off the wax paper, but I believe that can be solved.
It is a good thing it is winter and I don't have to be mowing lawn because almost every waking moment is spent reading about nutrition and brain tumors. There is a time and season for everything under heaven. And this season is learn, learn, learn.
As a closing note. This day with all three boys went rather smooth despite the fact I thought Stuart would knock down a whole shelf of olive oils at Viviano's in Fenton. He enjoyed their music and decided to dance rather robustly near the oils. Needless to say Gram made a hasty retreat with all three young male's out the door before she had to pay for all those imported olive oil's.
"For which cause we faint not: but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory:"
11 Corthinthians 4: 16,17
Gram in the cheering section

Anonymous said...

Dear Kate,
Yea! Another day down, and NO nausea!! I'm amazed that you actually went ice skating today. How fun for you and the boys!

Not sure what you're including when you say your 'lower right side', but I'm praying for it, and for your bowels! May you be "moved" on a regular basis. :)I'll also pray that your evenings will be filled with good distractions so they feel less dark.

Kate, I can't begin to know what it's like to go through what you are now, or to feel YOUR fears, but I do know about worry and fear from my own experiences. I am praying that you will be able to let go of your fears (specifically about the long-term side effects), and hand them back to God moment by moment, or as often as necessary. You have prayerfully chosen your treatment plan, and you believe it to be the best option for your care at this point. Choose to trust God with the long-term effects and the unknown as well. I say this with humility, because I've never been through something so hard or huge.

On a different note, it makes me smile to think of you looking for opportunities to bless others while you are there being treated for YOUR cancer. You are an encouragement to the rest of us to do the same in our everyday lives. We each are surrounded by people daily who need a bit of sunshine, and it requires nothing of us to share a smile.

I'll be praying that you get good sleep tonight.
Love, Tiffani Gibbs

The Endraskes said...

Kate,

Thank you so much for keeping us updated. We love you so much and you are ever in our prayers.

Kim