Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Carter's childhood relationships

Less than two years ago Carter was insensitive to others and their feelings. If he hurt a persons feelings and I would confront him with it his response would most often be "So what?". I have been praying for his heart to be softened in regards to relationships. He is so much like what his mother was like during childhood. I would care only about myself. Me, me and only me.

Fast forward to this Sunday evening. Both boys take a games class during Kidz Club at church. They are also learning about the fruits of the spirit. I dropped them off and went out to find that the mall closes at 6 pm. Drove back and observed the boys the rest of the time. During their games outside on the field I noticed a boy half the size of Carter. He participated in some games but was unable to fully participate in all. He runs slower due to shorter legs. He has some sort of hearing aid and wears glasses. Once all kids came inside to have their snack I noticed that this boy was a little down. He took his snack and went to sit on a chair in the corner of the room. One adult leader went over to him. I overheard the leader pulling aside another boy to ask for forgiveness in hurting the disabled boy feelings. He did ask for forgiveness and went on to be with other kids. My heart was hurting for the boy in the corner. He had taken off his glasses to wipe some tears. I was wiping tears myself.

That evening while the boys were together I wanted to share with them what happened. I told them that this boy didn't ask to have this disability. That it is probably very hard for him to do many things Carter and Cole do without thinking about it. I asked them to go out of their way to get to know him. Be kind. Share a toss of a football. Whatever they think would be appropriate. Carter then went into his room after we all prayed together for the night. As I was tucking Carter in he started to cry. I asked him what was wrong. He said that he was thinking about how it would be if he didn't have any friends. I started to cry again. We discussed in further detail. I told Carter I wasn't asking for him to be "best friends" with this boy. But that he might find that he is funny or something that God has uniquely gifted him. For we know that each of us are uniquely made for a greater purpose. Who would have known that a 33 year old mom would be good friends with an 80 year old man in southern Missouri? Carter pondered that one. God is not asking us to just be friends with people who look like us, act like us or are the same age. I also explained to Carter that each person on this earth has burdens and are broken. Not many kids can say that they have a Mom with brain cancer. He then further discussed that he has seen there are some boys who make fun of him or ignore the disabled boy. The disabled boy is in third grade class. Carter said he is going to try and get to know him. (Carter is not in third grade but he attends the third grade class on Sunday mornings.) He further asked me if he should invite him to his birthday party in June. I told him that would be his decision. Just get to know him first. He is bummed that this Sunday is Easter as there will be no Sunday school or Kidz Club at night. We also will not be a church the next Sunday due to travelling. He is worried about two boys and if they will make fun of him. I told him to think about what is more important to God. What has lasting effects? What is eternal?

I am deeply thankful that God has touched my heart in being more sensitive to other people hurting. It has made me a better parent. I am even more thankful that my 8 1/2 year olds heart is becoming more like Christ. He is maturing. God gets all the glory and praise.

Pray for me as I hold down the fort for a few days. Dave is in California for work.


Anonymous said...

Beautiful post, Kate.

Christine Raquepaw

Anonymous said...

Your words are full of wisdom and warmth. You blessed Carter with them...and you blessed me, too. Thanks for sharing.
Tiffani Gibbs
(I'm praying the next few days are fun and easy!)

The Jobacks said...

What a wonderful opportunity God gave to teach your son the very lesson you knew, as his mom, that he needed to know: how to obtain a soft heart. Funny how God has things "planned" like that, huh? Well, He is kind of GOD, and everything...He does have that going for Him, doesn't he? Praying that your family has a blessed Easter weekend of celebration and memories. Our family palm branch that Isaac came home with on Palm Sunday has officially bitten the dust. First, Elijah tore into it with his baby hands, then the cats proceeded to ingest the discarded leaves and puke them all over the basement. Welcome to my life. Ah, well! We love you! Praying for your solo flight w/ Dave in CA! I'm sure he misses you oodles!