Friday, January 05, 2007

A Continual Journey

Today was my 7th day of radiation treatment. I have enjoyed getting to know various patients and staff at Siteman. In regards to our previous post I want to clarify that I will not stop the conventional treatment UNTIL we have a clear direction & answer to the unconventional and nutritional approach.

As for me personally, I have been asked "How are you really doing emotionally, inside?" My honest answer is "quite good." I truly have a peace about waiting for a direct confirmation. I have to admit a few weeks ago I had internal panic. But that panic has been lifted. Every morning I really have to consciously focus on just that day at hand. I tend to want to look ahead.
"Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has enough worries."

Yes, I do not want the possible side effects of radiation. Yes, I still have a minimal concern about my hair loss, wondering how much and how far back. My main concern, however, is my vision & cognitive dysfunction. Please know that I am confirmed that God is bigger than any possible side effects, statistics, etc. He cares for my every need--emotional and physical.

Cancer has taught me LOTS! Here are a few examples.
1. I have been in awe of the complexity of love, specifically God's love for his children. His grace has been significant as well.

2. Being able to slowly go beyond "Me thinking" to "You thinking." My compassion for others has changed. It has a long way to go though. I am one tough cookie to crumble. I am certainly a work in progress. (I guess it took a brain tumor to jump start this change.)

3. In the past I tended to cringe when the weekly tithe check was written. Slowly I am seeing the vital importance in giving. I have been given so much in this trial. Wow! I sure am greedy with money. I am realizing that our money is really not mine, but His. He provided it for us. (I knew this but never took it to heart--only to head.)

Dave and I are trying to not make nutrition our main focus. We also are trying to not make it a legalistic approach with our boys. We want to instill healthy habits that they can carry throughout their life. We want them to have strong minds and bodies and furthermore be men of honor in our society who love God and want to serve Him. God's Word says our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit (I Cor. 6:20b). Therefore, we should honor God with your body. (See I Cor. 3:16 as well). I can't help but think that what we put into body is equally important. Cancer or not.

Some have asked for my specific change in eating habits. Please refer to the post "Does Cancer Feed Off Sugar?" Look at the book lists. We are using common sense with Dr. Budwig's approach (increase Omega 3 while decreasing Omega 6) along with Jeanne Wallace from Utah. A 38 minute video clip from a recent presentation is very informative.
It will get you started in the right direction in your quest for healthy eating habits.

Thank you for continuing this journey with us. In the end it is important to remember that:
1. Whatever is decided that I am at peace with the decision. Ultimately it is my decision not anyone else.
2. That God directs this decision & gives confirmation
3. To be wise and prudent.


PS - Happy Birthday to my sister Jean tomorrow aka: Aunt Dee Dee!


Anonymous said...

Good for you, Kate. It is absolutely your decision. I think it is wonderful that you are able to be so honest in this blog. I hope you do not feel that you need to defend your decision- whatever that might be. It is obvious that you are being thoughtful and wise and that you are seeking the Lord's wisdom. There will always be people who disagree with you. I pray that God will give you great clarity and peace. This is your decision and He is guiding you. Couldn't ask for a better driver.

The Endraskes said...

Dave and Kate,

We love you guys so much. We thank God for you allowing us to walk alongside with you. Know that we are upholding you regularly in prayer.

Also, I wanted to thank you for your honesty in sharing that you had not been praying together - Bill & I have just started praying together daily since our move to Memphis and I cannot tell you what a HUGE blessing it is to us. About a year ago we finally began having daily family devotionals (which also has been a huge blessing) but praying as a couple is really tough.

Thank God for trials as He shows us His goodness & steadfast love.

In His loving arms,
Kim & Bill

Anonymous said...

Dear Kate and Dave,
I just caught up on the last couple of days of your postings. I'm continuing to pray for you often, and I think of you many times each day.

"And my God will supply ALL your needs according to His glorious riches in heaven." (Philippians 4)
Love, Tiffani Gibbs