I have had a somewhat melancholy day. I am having feelings of not wanting to do this surgery yet, I know it is the best option I have. It was said to Dave and others that if I didn't have him or the kids I am not sure I would have gone through with the surgery. The thought of possibly not being the Kate most know concerns me. I haven't had time to mention to the bloggers that it was said on Friday at my neurological baseline exam (which took almost 4 hours - my brain hurt- I like to call it "show Kate how dumb she is") that the right frontal lobe was "once considered the silent lobe. That is not the case." It controls somewhat the emotional responses (personality) in a person along with the way they organize and plan. Whew! I have been really pondering this. I am so one to organize and plan. It is what I do! I am truly between a rock and a hard place with my decisions.
I have been thinking about Jesus' death on the cross. He died out of his love for me. I am having this surgery out of my love for my family. My heart hurts tonight.
I hope to post the prayer requests tomorrow for all to pray. If you haven't already emailed Pam in regards to taking a time slot to pray be sure to do so. Her email is: (pammywatson at yahoo.com)
Thanks for standing in the gap for our family. This is a true heart ache. When answering questions over the phone for pre op yesterday the lady asked if I had any pain related to this surgery. I told her "Yes, my heart hurts." Honest truth.
Just so you know I do have some thankfulness in my heart. I am thankful for my clearance $9.99 hot pink quilted Lands End slippers. On to find pretty p.j.'s tomorrow for the hospital ....kate