Saturday, November 11, 2006

At Home Resting

Yes, I am at home resting - a great place to be. All went well with the younger boys. They were at ease to see "mommy all in tact" (literally in tact). The staples across my head look "scary" to my oldest child but I was able to reassure him that I thought they looked scary too, but they are acting like a zipper for my skin incision. He understood.

It is so nice to be in the comforts of home with the great smells - hand soaps, lotion, baby bubble bath, fresh bed linens, cake baking in the oven, etc. I went into the hospital as one person yet came out as a different person. (to some of you that will be a very good thing) Yes, I am moldable!

Pray that God will soften my heart and tongue / thoughts. I don't always have the best filter - well I guess I do - it is Dave. We are a team!

Some of you are wondering, what to do from here? I ask you to allow Dave and I to be "a team" together. Allow us to be a family. Please pray for us to make the "right" decisions for my "C" (cancer) health and allow us to make these decisions. We ultimately know the "One" who made us so delicately also made the minds of our medical team. We trust them and ultimately trust God to give us wisdom and discernment for treatment options.

Our family landscape has just changed completely. We are the same shrubs (if you will) just positioned in a different place.

I have never had a blog before. It is a wild ride to allow others to read your personal "diary". Never have I been so transparent. I have been personal but not transparent, at least not in this way. Never have I had a lock broken on a diary for the world to read.

Since you have joined us in this adventure and are walking with us, here are some tangible prayer requests that are on my heart:

1. That Dave would be able to multi-task and have the strength, stamina, and patience to do it; taking care of me and the boys, administering my medications, doing laundry, washing dishes, etc; all while holding down his regular work. Also, that Dave would be able to have his own personal time to be able to reflect on everything that is going on and express the normal range of emotions that a spouse would feel in these circumstances.

2. That my mother (soccer gram) and sister (aunt dee dee) would stay healthy and well-rested while they assist our family with daily household needs.

3. That I (and Dave) would be able to get plenty of rest tonight and in the days ahead, especially before treatment begins.

4. That there would continue to be good communication between Dave and I, and that our marriage would be strengthened even further because of this trial.

5. That we would each take time to mediate on God's word and consider all that He is doing through this trial.

6. For our children to be able to process what we tell them about my condition on Sunday (tomorrow).

7. That God would calm my fears regarding having the staples removed from my head this coming Thursday.

We covet your prayers and deeply appreciate your encouragement and support of our family.


P.S. Dave says that typing on our home computer is much easier and faster than on the BlackBerry. His thumbs were getting really sore from that tiny keypad, I was afraid he was going to develop Thumb Tunnel Syndrome!


Anonymous said...

Kate and Dave,
Our family is continuing to lift you up in prayer. I've spent the last few hours researching dr. stuff and I'll bring some information to you at your convenience.
Love you
Nancy Williams

Anonymous said...

Dear Kate & Dave,

I have been wanting to share something with you, but felt at a loss of words. I've been so amazed by your allowing the Christian community to be a "part" of this whole process, and so many people have said such encouraging words.

Last night, however, as I was thinking about you guys, a couple of poems came to my mind that I have repeated & loved over the last few years. I forgot who authored them, but suffice it to say that they're not original to me.

THe first one says:

Make me a captive, Lord
And then I shall be free
Force me to render up my sword
Then conqueror shall I be

I sink in life's alarms
When by myself I stand
Imprison me within Thy arms
Then strong shall be my hand.

And the other that is truly comforting is this:

Let shadows come-let shadows go
Let life be bright-or dark with woe
I am content-for this I know

And, yes, we can truly take so much comfort in the last line alone--that the God of the universe has his eye, not only on the sparrow, but on his dear children. Just as when the disciples were in the raging storm, it's beautiful to remember that the Word says that "He saw them".

I will continue to pray for you and your family. We love you all so much, and how much more are you loved by the Father.



Anonymous said...

This scripture was at the top of my devotional this morning, and I though it was so appropriate to share.

Psalm 33:20-22
We wait in HOPE for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy name. May Your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our HOPE in You.

I'm glad you are home and comforatable there, and I'm so relieved that your family is willing and able to help. May God bless them for their service!!

About the staples, Kate - they really don't hurt that bad to have taken out. I've had them with my
C-sections, and hardly felt them coming out (and I'm a WIMP when it comes to pain!!). Also, when I've taken them out of kid's heads, they said it didn't hurt. So put that anxiety aside if you can!!!!

We are praying fervently for all of your requests. Thank you for allowing us into your "diary" - it is beautiful!!! We love you and your family!

Love, Gracie

Anonymous said...

How to talk to your children about Cancer.
"Children are so perceptive! They know right away when something is wrong in their world. They feel frightened and insecure. They act out. They regress. they trust us to tell them the truth - and that's what we should do about cancer, too. Straightforward, light-heartd, age-appropriate discussions. No promises that can't be kept. Just the facts, ma'am.
If you are the one with cancer, ENCOURAGE your children to help you. Helping you will EMPOWER them and REDUCE their FEAR of the unknown. Even the youngestchild can help by rubbing your back or patting your hand. LET THEM LOVE YOU!

Anonymous said...

I don't know who you are, however, I have found your blog to be encouraging. When, I went through my cancer treatments, here were the tips I found most helpful. (As found on the American Cancer Society site).
Article date: 2000/10/23
It is natural for families facing a cancer diagnosis to be upset and worried about how they will deal with this crisis. Families with young children or adolescents may have additional concerns about how their children will cope with the uncertainty produced by a cancer diagnosis.

It’s impossible to shield children from all of the stressful parts of life, and following your natural desire to protect children will usually not make things more pleasant or secure for them in the long run. Even if you don’t discuss your cancer with your children, they will have a sense that something is wrong. Children may incorrectly determine that your silence means that whatever is happening is too terrible to be talked about. This may cause them to imagine all kinds of frightening things. Another risk of keeping cancer a secret is that children will know you are being vague and are trying to conceal something from them. They may end up feeling isolated and uncertain about whether they can trust the information you share with them.

Why to Tell Children About Your Cancer

Children grow to understand what is happening in their world by observing their parents’ reactions and views. So how a child reacts to a cancer diagnosis will very much depend on how his or her parents or other adults are handling the crisis. The responsibility for setting a healthy tone for coping with cancer can contribute to parents’ stress, as they are dealing with their own powerful feelings of fear and uncertainty. However, parents and their children can and do learn to cope with breast cancer and its treatment.

Parents often want to protect children as long as possible from harsh "adult" realities. But if children aren’t given an honest explanation of a situation, they will arrive at conclusions that spring from their imaginations and immature intellects. Information demystifies cancer for children as it does for adults, and it helps children feel less helpless. Thus, the first and most important step in helping children deal with your diagnosis is to immediately offer children appropriate information about your breast cancer.

Be truthful with your children about the disease and its effects, to the extent that is appropriate for their age and comprehension. Be the first one to tell them you have breast cancer. If children hear about your cancer from someone else—for example, a curious neighbor or a classmate who has heard other people talking—it can harm the child’s trust in you. It’s best for you to communicate information about cancer truthfully, in a way that allows a child to understand and have a role in what is happening in his or her life.

Talking to Young Children

Young children (up to age eight) will not need a great deal of detailed information, while older children (aged eight to twelve) and adolescents will need and deserve to know more. Adolescent daughters of women with breast cancer will have different concerns than a five-year-old who needs his or her parent for basic caregiving.

When talking to children, use simple, age-appropriate language based on what is really happening. Begin by asking what they understand or think about the illness. Using dolls or drawing pictures can help. Explain the effects of the illness and the side effects of the treatment—such as fatigue, hair loss, weight loss, surgical alterations, and moods—so that the children are not left to fantasize about why these things are happening. Remember that children are familiar with being sick, but be careful about saying things such as, "It’s like when you had a sore throat and had to go to the doctor." Young children might conclude that the next time their throat hurts, it means they also have cancer.