Thursday, November 16, 2006

Rest was good

A good nights rest was just what I needed. I actually woke up a little perkier than when I went down. Thanks to all for praying for my mind and emotions and the attack I was under all day yesterday.

A little song for you to sing even in the dreary cold rain. thank you Amelia for your sweet note. Yes it is true !- I have been "smacked" upside the head! Ha ha ha!

Great is Thy Faithfulness O Lord

I think it goes something like this: (if you know the correct version please blog it)

They(the Lords compassion/ faithfulness) are new every morning
new every morning
great is thy faithfulness O Lord
great is thy faithfulness

If you are just now getting on the blog - please be sure to read the post "Maintaining privacy on the blog" for your security and ours.



Marilyn McDonald said...

Good morning, Kate,
Since we last "did life together," I have become the Mentor Mom at our church's MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group. I thought you'd enjoy seeing what I was going to share with them this morning about Marriage: (sorry this is long, but I think it will encourage you!)

What Every Mom Needs: Relationship

This month in our series of devotions based on the book “What Every Mom Needs” we’re looking at Relationships. Last time we met, we talked about our need for girlfriends and extended family relationships. Today we’re going to talk about the #1 human relationship in our lives—our marriages.

The biggest “duh” statement you’ll probably hear me make all year is this “Having children changes a marriage.” How many of you knew that before you had your first child? Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, counselors and a married couple themselves, sum it up this way: “Studies show that when baby makes three, conflicts increase eightfold; marriage takes a backseat; women feel overburdened and men feel shoved aside. By the baby’s first birthday, most mothers are less happy about their marriage and some are wondering whether their marriage will even make it. Baby-induced marital meltdowns are not uncommon.”

Some of us fall in love with our new baby, and coupled with the baby’s all-consuming needs for our time and attention, it’s easy for Dad to get squeezed out. Some of us have waited all our lives to become mothers, and we jump in with both feet, relying on our husbands to be good daddies and perhaps secretly planning to pick up our married lives when the kids are grown and gone.

Well, let me take you back to Scripture to review God’s plan for marriage and parenthood. Back in Genesis, as we discussed last time we were together, we learn that God made Eve specifically for Adam. None of God’s many other creatures were capable of being his helper, his lover or his friend. In Gen 2: 24, while there was still just Adam and Eve, God revealed his plan for marriage—leave and cleave. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

That’s the relationship that precedes parenthood: a bonded, lifetime commitment of one man to one woman. In God’s order, children come later, and are considered a blessing, a reward, a crown. Gen. 2:24 tells us where this is all headed: children grow up. They will leave their mothers and fathers and cleave to spouses of their own. But Mom and Dad will remain, their marriage relationship lasting until they are parted by death.

So the major message here is that while having children changes a marriage, it is often the first of many major changes your marriage will undergo during its lifetime. You and your husband will find yourselves navigating uncharted waters many times in your life together—parenthood, coming a few years after the wedding, is usually the first big test of your relationship. Life stressors can be happy—like having children, buying a home, starting a business – or they can be frightening and sad – serious illness or accidents, job loss, natural disasters, death.

I have spent the last week eagerly following the blog of my friend Kate Snodgrass, who was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor and had surgery to remove it. She and her husband Dave are the parents of three little boys, and before she left the hospital last Saturday, Kate found out the tumor is cancerous. As they face an immediate future of chemotherapy, radiation and many unknowns, their marriage is being taxed in ways I hope none of us ever have to experience. Yet her husband Dave is able to write “This has been a special week for Kate and I; it has strengthened our marriage, renewed our lifelong commitment to each other, deepened our faith and trust in the Lord, strengthened relationships with family and friends, taught us to trust others with our children and daily needs, enabled us to have more compassion with others who are suffering, showed us that others are helping to bear our burdens, demonstrated to us the power of prayer, and given us a clearer focus on our future hope, God's ultimate redemption of ourselves and this world for His Son's glory.”

Sometimes, all we need is a little perspective to set us back on track. If you’ve experienced awkwardness or tension in your marriage since the babies came, it’s time to talk to one another, and then listen to one another. Let him know what it’s like to have your body turn into a service station for everyone in the house—now there’s a good word picture!! Don’t expect him to understand how tired or stressed or hormonal you are—tell him. Then listen to him—he might tell you that he doesn’t feel as connected to the baby as you do, and that he misses the physical closeness you two used to share. Finally, see if you can meet each other half way. Your life situation won’t change right away, but you can become allies again, and extend one another the grace and good humor you need to move on together.

I have a worksheet to give you. Please take it home—when the kids are napping or you’re waiting in the carpool line, take a moment to fill it out—it has some great conversation starters for you and your husband to use when talking about your relationship. Then get a sitter, go out for coffee and have that conversation. Practice the fine art of refocusing and renewing your marriage—it’s a skill you’ll need many times over the course of your life.

Jack Collins said...

The song you want goes like this:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning,
new every morning,
great is they faithfulness, O Lord,
great is thy faithfulness.

(Based on Lamentations 3:22-23 in the RSV -- ESV is about the same.)

Jack Collins

Jamie Beckemeier said...

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.


Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.


Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!


Nicole Callan said...

Hey, Kate--Duke of Earl--a good song is just what you need! During my low periods following major sleep deprivations, I was so grateful to our faithful God for putting His word in my head through songs. It's hard to concentrate on reading or memorizing when your brain is so stressed with worry and fear, but God's word in song refreshes and relaxes. Must be why shepherd/King David wrote his thoughts that way!!
Hang in there, babe! I haven't seen you in years, but I can still see you glowing smile and I know that you're in God's compassionate, mighty hands.

Jamie Beckemeier said...

Hey Kate, Dave and family...
I have walked through cancer with some close friends (that's how I know it sucks, even though I hate that expression) and a few things have totally surprised me. Your comments yesterday about your frustrations brought to mind my previous experience with this.
Before cancer with friends, I guess I thought when a person was totally down, the enemy of our soul would leave us alone. Au contraire. It seems like he heats up the fiery dart game to a new level when you are face down on the floor in despair. I do not understand this. It is not logical. I guess he isn't either.
I just wanted you to know that in the days ahead you will experience some strong opposition. When you hear that "voice that condemns" please remember that it is a LIE, not the truth. The Lord who loves you is NOT speaking those words to you.
Your faith has never been tested to this degree. There will be a tendency- when all of your encouraging friends are commenting on your stalwart faith - to begin to feel uncomfortable with or "unworthy" of those comments. There will be many days, hours and moments when you feel like anything but a strong woman of faith. Good! Be honest. You are in good company!(see most of the men and women in the Bible).
This morning I was re-reading the story of Moses in his battle... (Exodus 17::12- When Moses's hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up= one on one side, one on the other- so that his hands remained stady til sunset.... Moses built an altar and called it The LORD is my Banner. He said, "For hands were lifted up to the throne of the LORD. The LORD will be at war against the Amalekites from generation to generation."
I just wanted to say for all of us "blog-a-holics" (maybe some of us should be called "blah-blah- a-holics) that when the battle gets tough (and it will) we are here holding up your hands. Even on days when there aren't a lot of blogs (like yesterday) we are all still here, wondering, waiting, praying and suffering with you.
As I was writing this I thought of a song which has ministered to me in difficult times... hope it helps put words to what is in your heart....

Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears
And they don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child
Unafraid because His armor is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
Never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at His feet
And they don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child
And they don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and look up for a smile
'Cause deep inside this armor
Deep inside this armor
Deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child

Love to you
jamie b.

Soccer Gram said...

Yes daughter, yesterday was one of those more challenging days. I could tell you were at MAX!
I was reminded by Aunt Linda that Thanksgiving is next week. Somewhere I lost a week this month. I think it happened on the Thursday you told me you had a brain tumor. Never the less I am just now catching up.
It is Thanksgiving now and that always reminds me of the Canadian geese. Every year at this time the geese fly north to south. Our valley where the farm is must be on their flight pattern due to several lakes that back up into the valley. They come in groups of 40 or 50 and when they fly into the valley it is as though they have conversations among themselves. They will circle as though they are trying to decide which lake to rest on for the night. I guess its like our family tying to choose between the Hampton Inn or Best Western. When you were a little girl and I milked goats I would love to hear their honking. They made quite a racket. My sister told me a story about the Canadian geese. When they are flying and honking they are telling the lead goose to keep moving and they will break the wind. When that goose gets too tired another will take the lead and that one will fall back. I think we can see that better out on the farm then in town.
How do they know to go north to south? How do they decide who takes the lead or which lake to light on?
In reading all the encouraging notes that have been posted I am more reminded then ever of those geese. It is as if the body of Christ is honking you on and when you have a day like yesterday it is alright to fall back and let someone else take the lead. They have and will break the great resistance that you face.
Yes A.J. there will be a family Thanksgiving. And maybe even a flock of geese.
Soccer Gram signing off and thinking about sweet potato pie

Anonymous said...

Soccer Gram,

That was the most beautiful word picture that you painted about the geese. I'm sitting here crying. I think I'll be remembering that illustration as I go along in life.

Kate, I will be praying even more for you. This is an unbearably difficult time for you and your family with untold adjustments having to be made on every front, for everybody. Perhaps as moms, that's the hardest part. We're so prone to take on the "world's troubles", not to mention our own family's. It's so natural to try to ease the pain of our loved-ones. Obviously, you still WANT to do that--probably more than you ever have in your life---yet, ironically, the very reasons you want to do that are the very reasons you simply cannot right now.

Just know that you are an encouragement to so many people, whether you're having a "great" day, which has probably become a very relative term, or whether you're feeling low. Nobody expects you to "breeze through" brain cancer. Your attitude has been awe-inspiring. We're here to love you, support you in tangible ways and in PRAYER. You are so dear to so many people & our hearts are breaking to see you suffer. My prayer is that you will just sense God's comfort in a very real way. That His loving arms will bear you up in your trial(s)---"As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you"--(Isaiah 66:13) I know when you are suffering in such an excruciating way, the world around you can feel like a cruel joke. You look at other people doing all the "normal" things and you think, "How can you people be so happy, when my whole world is falling apart???!!!!!" Even words from your well-meaning friends can sometimes ring hollow. Even so, I've taken that risk in the hope that you have been blessed in some small way.

Still Praying & will contiinue to until the victory is sure...........your friend, Larilee.

Diana Loewe said...


I have not written in a week or so, just checking in on you all and still praying constantly. I have to tell you that your story, prayers, faith and love has affected so many people's lives it is amazing. I was out the other night with a client and I turned in a restaurant to hear someone praying for you at dinner. Chills ran down my spine, tears filled my eyes when I shared your story with the client I was with at that moment. Last night I was with several people from my office and we began talking about you all and we all agreed that the blog has actually inspired all of us to pray more and brought us all together in a way that none of us could have ever seen possible.

Even though you dont hear from us all like your immediate family, we have become your exdended family and love you all just as much. Our arms are wrapping around you hugging just like them. Please know the miracle of love and faith you have brought to so many of us.

In our prayers always...

Diana, Rick and Ashley Loewe

Anonymous said...

Kate- we missed Stuart Tues. at church and we all prayed for you before our snack. I lost you blog address for awhile so I had a lot to catch up on. Jamie B. note and the song liric(spelling?) were wonderful. It sounds like you are all surviving the adjustments to your household and it is amazing to hear how family and friends and helping out. Everwhere I go someone has some information about you and your family. Pleas know that you and your are still in our prayers(Zach and Cole) pray for you ever night. I will try to write something more inspiring later but please know that we are thinking about you and Dave. P.S. Laura told me about an old video of all of us prior to you and Dave getting married can't wait to see that. Love you Jenny West

aj said...

Thanks Mom... great analogy.